What To Do When You Have To Wear A Swimsuit

"Honey, I just got us tickets for a romantic getaway to a tropical island next month where it is warm and they have beautiful beaches." Sounds perfect doesn't it? A winter retreat to break up the stress and dreary cold days and leave your worries behind. Actually, this can be terrible news. For most women, an island getaway means facing the prospect of being seen in a bathing suit! 25 Dating Dos And Don'ts [VIDEO]

As hard as this is for men to understand, the idea of wearing a swimsuit can outweigh the desire and rationale of a sunny warm holiday for a great many women. The thought of trying to find a decent suit and then having to wear it in public is humiliating for those who don't think they have  bodies perfect enough to look decent in one. 

This is especially so after the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition hits the stands. There is no comparison between the airbrushed perfection of Alyssa Miller or Kate Upton and what a woman sees in her mirror, no matter how good her body is. She knows every hot-blooded male, including her own, has just ogled these beautiful women in skimpy bikinis. She's taken a peek at the pictures herself. You Don't Have To Look Like A Supermodel To Turn Your Husband On

For her it is depressing. She can't compete and can't measure up to the ideals of those swimsuit models, so she doesn't want to go on the trip. Every year, I have a number of female clients go through this panic. They don't know what to do. Here is a list of dos and don'ts if you find yourself in this quandary:

DON'T go on a rapid weight loss diet. This is the typical solution women choose to slim down for their trip, but it seldom works out well. Few diets will succeed in helping you lose as much weight as you hope in time, which will leave you frustrated and anxious. And once the diet ends and you get away on your vacation, you will overeat as a reward to make up for what you were deprived of on the diet and to feel free of restraints. Back home again, you will find you are even heavier than before you left. Is Your Body Image Hurting Your Love Life? 3 Ways To Change

DON'T try to avoid wearing a swimsuit and simply not bring one with you. Nice try, but once you get on vacation, you will realize that you need a swimsuit and now have to buy one in the resort gift shops. 

DON'T compare yourself to swimsuit models. Yes, men look at the models, but it isn't the models they really want. They want and love real women with real bodies and personalities. They are not comparing you to the models. You are doing that, believing these women are happier and better. But were you to live a day in the life of a model, you would learn that they don't consider themselves perfect, happier, or better than you. 

DON'T assume other people's judgment. You don't really know what other people are thinking, and honestly it doesn't matter what they think.  Imagine seeing someone you think doesn't look good in a swimsuit, but they could care less. Who is affected by the judgment? Judgment is really a reflection of the person doing the judging and how they feel about themselves. On your trip, let it go.

DO find a swimsuit that fits you properly and is designed to look more slimming. You don't even have to go to the mall to try them on. Check out the following sites for help finding a good bathing suit to flatter your assets. Cyberswim.com offers the Miraclesuit, SwimsuitsForAll.com has flattering plus size suits, Spanx.com now sells bathing suits, and LLBean.com continues to carry TrimShaper suits.

DO pretend you look fabulous. What you tell yourself determines how you feel about yourself. When you act as if you are beautiful, even if you don't really believe it, you radiate more confidence and sex appeal. You also feel happier and more attractive. When my clients experiment with pretending they look great, they discover they really do feel differently and often become motivated to eat better and exercise. Are You An Emotional Eater?

DO focus on what is really important in your relationship. Your significant other loves you for many reasons, and a vacation gives you both a chance to reconnect with those special qualities. A getaway trip is also a great way to rekindle your passion and focus on each other. 

DO be grateful for the trip and enjoy the experience. The trip is booked, so be grateful to your honey for this wonderful gift of going to a warmer climate. All he wants is to please you, and letting him know how excited you are is going to make him happy. Sunbathing & Other Natural Aphrodisiacs

You are now ready to go with a positive attitude, a new swimsuit, and a determination not to get caught up in self-comparisons or self-judgment.  Bon Voyage! For more tips on how to feel good in your body and boost your confidence, get a free e-book on how to Feel Your Personal Best from our expert. 5 Steps to Getting & Then Staying Motivated

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