5 Ways Women Subtly Sabotage A Great Relationship — Without Saying A Single Word
The less-overt reasons why your relationships fail.
dimaberlinphotos | Canva People in relationships get into patterns. Some work well for them, and some don't.
If you find yourself getting into the same bad places in your relationship, you might want to examine what you are doing to sabotage growth, resolution, and intimacy in your relationship.
It is easy to blame everyone else, but until you look at yourself and take responsibility for fixing your part nothing will change.
Here are 5 ways women subtly sabotage a great relationship — without saying a single word:
1. Needing to be right
If it is more important to you to be right or have the last word than to have a loving and close relationship, this will get in the way for you time after time.
You don't always need to be right, it's okay to compromise once in a while.
Compromising can be good for a relationship, but only to a certain degree, or else it can lead to bad psychological health, according to research.
2. Trying to control others
When you think you can change the way others act and feel, it's a no-win situation. You will be constantly frustrated and the other person will feel judged and put down.
People can change, but it's not because of anything you can do, one study tells us. This leads to both of you shutting down and no problems being solved.
3. Withdrawing
If you don't talk about what's bothering you or leave a discussion to do something else without being honest, then you have become emotionally unavailable to your partner.
Once disengaged, you will both feel hurt and rejected and alone — and no problems get resolved.
Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels
4. Trying to get back at the other person
If you go by the, 'you hurt me, so I can hurt you back' rule, chances are you will just create an ongoing battlefield in the relationship. It is just offending from the victim's position, which is still offensive.
Forgiving and forgetting is the way to go in a lot of situations where you get hurt.
5. Having no filter
We don't have the right to dump our fears, anger, lust, interpretations, accusations, etc. onto others without their permission. We have to respect our boundaries, but we also have to respect those we love.
Some people think they have to tell the people they love everything right away or they aren't close. Well, not everything we have to say is necessary or important to share and if it's pushing people away, you have to ask yourself, "Is this working for me?"
If you and your partner are using any of these strategies in your relationship, or if you find yourself doing any of these things in any of your other relationships, you might want to figure out how to make some changes so you can be happier and have healthier relationships.
Read some books and seek out therapy.
It's never too late to change and it's always a good time to have more satisfying relationships.
Gina Schuchman has been a clinical social worker in private practice for 39 years. She has worked in a variety of settings including schools, OB-GYN clinics, psychiatric clinics, and small group practices.