The Tiny Thing That Bonds Happy Couples For Life
Walking down the street, an elderly couple who were giggling and holding hands caught my eye. I had to ask their secret.
avierarnau | Canva I was walking down the street one day when an elderly couple caught my eye. I was pulled in as they were holding hands and still looked at each other with loving affection. The husband even stole a kiss from his "girl" as they walked into the ice cream shop.
I was so drawn to the couple that I decided to stop in the ice cream shop myself. I found myself completely smitten with their affection. At some point, we struck up a conversation. They told me they had been married for 60 years.
Enthusiastically, I asked them what their secret was. Here is what they told me: It's all about affection.
The tiny things that bond happy couples for life.
1. They said that they never stopped their courtship.
They held hands, looked out for each other when crossing the street, and made sure they kissed each other every day in a way that said, "I love you. You’re the one for me." They made a point to only flirt with each other and went out of their way to write love notes now and then. They ended and started each day with a hug. In essence, they made affection a priority.
Photo: Kristo-Gothard Hunor via Shutterstock
2. They said that being affectionate with each other was as natural as breathing.
You simply can’t keep your hands off each other. You want to touch and be touched. It is an important part of the courting-dating ritual. For many couples, these behaviors get lost, or at least diluted, after many years of being together. Life gets busy. Children are distracting. Resentments build and affection dissipates.
Maybe it’s a matter of which came first, the chicken or the egg, but there is a clear correlation between emotional disconnect and physical disconnect with couples. It is also clear that relationships in trouble need to be attended to. For those of you who are just starting, or who want to keep the positive momentum alive, you must find ways to make affection a priority.
3. They make affectionate gestures a priority.
Give your mate a hug, kiss, or squeeze every day. Make time to cuddle before going to sleep. Hold hands, walk arm-in-arm-, remember what it felt like to be in the courtship phase, creating romance and connection. I promise that you will feel better about your mate, your relationship, and yourself. Honestly, affection is the best cure for disconnect. It reminds you why you fell in love in the first place.
Kiss your partner, hug them, and squeeze them. Affection matters. Affection is the one small thing to guarantees along life of love.
Julie Orlov is a psychotherapist, consultant, speaker, and author of “The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery”