5 Steps To Become The Type Of Person Who Makes All The Right Decisions — With Confidence
Learn how to think highly of yourself.
Marco Ceron via Shutterstock When was the last time you felt confident? Today? Yesterday? Can you even remember? There is a confidence crisis among women these days, especially in the workplace. And, of course, we all know that what happens at work affects the rest of our lives.
Still, women are sometimes unable to learn how to be confident and lack the self-esteem to speak up, put forward their two cents, or be acknowledged for a job well done. Does this sound familiar to you?
Five steps to becoming someone who makes great decisions, confidently.
1. Get real about your confidence level
Take a moment to rank your self-assurance right now. On a scale of 0-10, 10 is very confident (you speak your point of view, offer your perspective in group settings, and form conclusions quickly without second-guessing).
Zero is low or no self-assurance (you hold your thoughts and remarks back because you believe no one wishes to listen to them, are unable to make up your mind, and are not able to decide without wanting to ask at least three people their opinions).
Does your response surprise you? What if you and four friends each ranked yourselves, then tried to guess how others ranked themselves? Do you think you'd be close in your guess
2. Make regular deposits into your 'integrity account'
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I believe we were all born with two very specialized, permanent accounts that all of your actions, decisions, and experiences either make deposits into or withdraw from. The first account holds your integrity, and the second contains your self-assurance or confidence. The difference between these two accounts is you're born with your integrity account full and your confidence account empty.
As you progress through life, your actions and decisions impact these two accounts depending on the following:
- whether or not you decide to live with integrity and
- whether or not you continue to mature and develop your self-confidence.
If your decisions support your integrity, your account balance stays put. If not, a withdrawal occurs.
To make a deposit into your integrity account entails a lot more work. You need to restore your integrity, and that takes time. As well your actions and judgments affect your self-confidence, but your self-confidence is also affected by your reactions to how others respond to your decisions.
How you react to decisions in everyday circumstances and during emergencies can be entirely different. Confidence is what enables you to make sound judgments in times of crisis, as supported by a study in the Handbook Of The Uncertain Self. The more confident you are, the better the decisions you will make when you find yourself in an elevated level of stress.
The good news is that you possess the tools needed to make judgments effectively and increase your confidence. As such, here's how to be confident, starting today!
3. Name the emotion initially triggered as soon as you are in a heightened stress state
For example, say you are in the office, and somebody else takes credit for a task you finished. What did you feel? Was it doubt? Worry? Rage? Disappointment? No matter what it is, simply acknowledge it. Don't judge yourself for feeling it.
That's what we do as human beings: we feel! So go ahead and experience the emotion being triggered. By feeling the emotion, your self-confidence is raised due to having newfound knowledge, and knowledge is empowering!
4. Step up your emotion
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If you are feeling rage, then look to raise your emotion to anger. If you feel doubt, then elevate your emotion to disappointment. If it's a worry, then move up your emotion to doubt.
The secret is to elevate your emotions so you can begin to notice a new perspective on the circumstance. An article in Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy Journal suggests that with a new perspective, you are open to boosting your confidence, regardless of how anyone else responds to the situation.
5. Execute accordingly
There are two parts to this step. First, you must execute the inferior emotion and elevate the inferior emotion. Then, you must take action or execute the step(s) necessary to reinforce your self-confidence, as supported by research in Frontiers in Psychology.
Take at least one step to resolve the situation that is triggering your stress. Going back to our illustration of someone taking the credit for your job well done, a good action might be to approach the person who got the recognition and congratulate her on her victory while making sure to give yourself a pat on the back for taking the high road.
Out of self-confidence grows assurance and resilience. With every stride you take, the greater your resilience grows.
Karen Kleinwort is a Life and Business Coach who writes about relationships and life's mysteries.