Woman Uninvites Nephew To Daughter's Birthday Party After Refusing To Replace A 'Peanut Butter' Birthday Cake Despite His Allergy
Her nephew is incredibly allergic and can't even be in the same room with foods that have peanuts in them.
Marko Aliaksandr / Shutterstock / Canva Pro A mom decided to make a quick decision and uninvited her nephew from her daughter's birthday party after refusing to adhere to his food allergy.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that she refused to go against her daughter's wishes on her birthday, despite it meaning her nephew would not be able to attend.
She uninvited her nephew after refusing to change her daughter's peanut butter-flavored cake despite her nephew's allergy.
In her Reddit post, the mom shared that her daughter's 7th birthday party was quickly approaching, and when asked what kind of cake she wanted, the young girl responded that she wanted a peanut butter and chocolate-flavored cake.
Agreeing to get her daughter the cake, the woman made sure to inform her sister and three-year-old nephew about the cake flavor since her nephew is incredibly allergic to peanuts. It's so bad that the little boy can't be in the same room with any food item with peanuts in it.
Photo: Ruth Black / Shutterstock
"She asked if I would change the cake to be just chocolate so that my nephew could come. I said no, that it was my daughter’s cake and she can have peanut butter if she wants," the mom claimed. Upon hearing that, her sister accused her of being "unreasonable."
Her sister claimed that her daughter had an opportunity to eat peanut butter-flavored cake with her friends and that, with her family, the cake should be appropriate for everyone to eat it. "She said that my daughter needs to learn to compromise for the sake of family."
To offer a compromise, she agreed to talk to her daughter about it but pointed out that it would be unlikely she'd choose her cousin over having her favorite cake at the party.
"My conversation with my daughter played out just like I predicted, and when I told my sister, she called my daughter selfish and ungrateful. She said that I’m a bad parent because I 'taught her to hate [my] nephew,'" she wrote.
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Her sister was incredibly unhappy with the woman's decision and said that if she refused to change the cake's flavor then she and her nephew would just not show up. "I said that was fine because she wasn’t welcome either," the young girl's mom told her sister.
"Her party came and went, and my sister is still being very distant and cold. This has me wondering if I was too harsh to her and my nephew, or too soft on my daughter," she inquired at the end of her post.
Most people agreed that the mom was in the right to allow her daughter to have the cake she wanted at her birthday party.
Many Reddit users in the comments section praised the mother for sticking by her daughter's desire to have peanut butter-flavored cake on her birthday and allowing her to make her own decisions.
"You told them ahead of time and let them know you couldn't accommodate and wouldn't force your daughter to accommodate," one Reddit user pointed out. "Hard part of having strong allergies is you don't get to do everything. It is what it is."
Another user agreed, writing, "Forcing a young kid to give up their favorite cake on their birthday is an EXCELLENT way to sow resentment toward the person they’re doing it for... You asked your daughter and respected her decision. You sound like a great mom."
A third user also sided with the mother and argued that her three-year-old nephew probably won't even remember about not being invited. "Your three-year-old nephew won't comprehend or care about 'missing' a party."
"Maybe she doesn't want to say she's hurt about missing out on your daughter's party? But definitely tried to make it all about her by saying your seven-year-old was 'selfish' for wanting the cake she wanted."
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.