Woman Says Brides Who Show Cleavage Are 'Tacky' & 'Believers' Don't Want Their Sons Seeing That — 'Modest Is Hottest'
Harsh criticism of brides' clothing choices in weddings perpetuates the shameful belief that a woman's body is something to be policed.
TikTok It seems women can not escape the policing of their bodies, even on what is supposed to be the happiest day of their lives — their wedding day.
In a Facebook post that has since gone viral, a woman, Kristine Harhoef, decided to air her grievances about how brides choose to dress for their wedding days, and how "inappropriate" she feels it to be when brides aren't all the way covered up.
She accused brides who show cleavage in their wedding dresses of being 'tacky' and 'stepping into adulterous thoughts.'
Harheof, in a long-winded social media post, shared her opinion on how women should dress for their wedding day and claimed that a more modest bridal outfit is what people want instead of anything that shows off a woman's body.
"Ladies, bridal gowns with cleavage hanging out are the norm. I get that," she wrote. "But they are tacky and they are cheap. (No matter how much you paid). Wedding dresses with it all hanging out cause many of us to wonder if you have a desire to be lusted upon by everyone at the wedding."
She continued, saying, "When some believers see your wedding pictures they quickly scroll past so their sons don't see it up on the computer screen. Or they hide your post. Sometimes, these types of dresses come across as so desiring to be lusted upon that you present to the world as if you're very insecure..."
Harhoef claimed that instead of a woman showing off any part of her body to strangers, it should only be "reserved for your husband only," and frowned upon women attempting to step into "adulterous thoughts" on their wedding day.
"How embarrassing," she proclaimed. "God bless all you lovely brides who take the time to find sweet, modest wedding gowns that give testimony of your spiritual maturity."
In anything a woman does, her body is heavily policed by the patriarchy, men, and in some instances as this one, other women as well. Women's bodies are, and will forever be, their own. Something as trivial as showing cleavage in a wedding dress does not correlate with the thoughts of a man who sees her in it.
To assume that a woman wearing a wedding dress she feels confident in for the sole purpose of seeking approval from anyone, especially men, is absurd. If you have to "hide" a post of a woman on her wedding day from your husband or your son, unfortunately, the problem lies solely in how they perceive women and their bodies.
Many people had hilarious reactions to Harheof's take on wedding dresses.
"As a wedding guest, I like wedding dresses that look like they were purchased in a Babylonian red light district because that means the reception will probably have an open bar," one Facebook commenter joked.
At the end of her post, Harheof provided an example photo of an appropriate wedding dress option with the entire top half of the dress fully covered, which only heightened the jokes, as many people were vehemently against that option.
"I'd be embarrassed to be seen in that sad sack of a Spirit Halloween bride costume," another person wrote, while a third commenter added, "Yikes. That dress is not attractive."
Continuing to police women's bodies and limit certain items that are deemed "too revealing" or "distracting" only further teaches women and girls that their bodies are seen as nothing but shameful. Instead, we should be teaching men and young boys that a woman's body and what she chooses to wear is nobody's business but her own.
It shouldn't be hard to accept and understand that a woman is the only person responsible for her own appearance and isn't seeking validation from men just because she's doing something as simple as showing cleavage in her wedding dress.
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.