Woman Accuses Boyfriend Of Gaslighting Her After An Image Of A Baseball Game Convinced Her He Was Cheating
He cheated but tried to turn it around by saying she made the whole thing up to get famous.
@akkayyyaa / TikTok Although 20% of men cheat, a TikTok user named AK trusted her boyfriend wholeheartedly to go on a work trip across the country. That is, until he posted a picture at the Phillies/Dodgers baseball game that was eerily similar to a picture his ex-girlfriend posted from the same game.
The TikToker lost trust in her boyfriend after she saw his and his ex-girlfriend's posts.
In a series of videos, the TikToker pointed out that there was a man in a white bucket hat in her boyfriend’s picture that was wearing a white shirt as well. She added that the same man was in the ex-girlfriend’s photo as well.
When she confronted her boyfriend about the pictures in the second video of her series, he said that his ex could have been "at any stadium." She began to point out the similarities between the colors, and the man in the white bucket hat, and that was when he said, “Oh it does kind of look like the Philly stadium.”
AK asked why they would be in the same spot at the stadium across the country. Her boyfriend continued to gaslight her by stating that it did look like the same spot, but they weren’t there at the same time. She ended up breaking up with him over the gaslighting and the lying.
In the third part to her series, which has since been deleted, AK recounted her boyfriend’s reaction after he saw her TikToks. “Yo it’s clear that you wanted to get famous off of this situation, that’s cool, whatever. It’s not that serious, leave me out of it,” he said.
“Yes, I wanted to get cheated on so I could make a video that just happened to go viral,” she sarcastically responded with an eye roll and a shake of her head.
The gaslighting continued when her now ex-boyfriend also told her to take the video down because he was “worried about her future.” Her speechless response to that was an exasperated shake of her head.
Users in the comments agreed with the TikToker that her ex-boyfriend’s behavior was indeed gaslighting.
One user wrote “the gaslighting!!!!! Oh honey, I’m so sorry for this.” Another user declared that her ex didn’t like the videos because others were calling him out and that made it impossible to effectively manipulate her anymore. A third user said they were sorry that he was gaslighting her and something similar happened to them.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that creates self-doubt. The gaslighter’s goal is to make their victim feel as though the reality they are experiencing isn’t real, therefore causing them to believe that they are "crazy." It is often used as a tactic to get their victims to believe their lies and force their victims to feel like they can’t trust themselves.
Some signs of gaslighting include the “Twilight Zone effect,” where the victim feels as though a situation is happening on a different plane of their life. It's akin to being called overemotional or irrational, or being told you’re exaggerating.
Tone policing — an instance where an abuser might criticize the victim's tone of voice if they are challenged on something, is used in order to flip the script and make them the one at fault — is another sign of gaslighting. Lastly, isolation and a cycle of warm and cold behavior are signs.
The TikToker definitely experienced gaslighting from her ex-boyfriend. He tried to use the tactic on her to make it seem like the baseball stadiums were not the same, and again when he backtracked and said they looked the same but he was not there at the same time as his ex.
The gaslighting went further when he tried to make her feel like the bad guy because she “created” a situation so she could get TikTok famous. Needless to say, she dodged a bullet by breaking up with him.
Fortunately for AK, this tactic didn’t work and she removed herself from an extremely toxic situation.
Tarah Hickel is a Washington-based writer and a frequent contributor to YourTango. She focuses on entertainment and news stories that include viral topics and relationships.