Pregnant Dad Explains Why He Chose To Be A Surrogate For Himself
Not everyone associates pregnancy with womanhood.
@ledpaintsoup / TikTok If you have the “working parts” to achieve your goals, you might as well use them! At least, this is something that one pregnant father is preaching after he was flooded with questions about why he chose to carry his child while undergoing his gender transformation.
The pregnant dad chose to answer these questions in an educational TikTok video where he explains how the experience saves him money and that it does not cause him to suffer from constant gender dysphoria.
The pregnant father chose to be a surrogate for himself.
Maxwell (@ledpaintsoup) is already a father of two and carried his children himself. His third pregnancy is no exception, and in a video that has been viewed over 380,000 times, he is shutting down those who are rudely assuming that he cannot carry a pregnancy since he is a man.
Maxwell shares that he has received his fair share of questions from other TikTok users regarding his gender and pregnancy. Many people ask why he is choosing to be pregnant himself instead of turning to surrogacy since many people associate pregnancy and childbirth with womanhood.
According to Maxwell, not only is being pregnant cost-effective in his case but he also does not view his pregnancy as a process that is exclusive to women.
“I would first of all like to say, that it [pregnancy] is free for me,” he says. “I feel like I’m doing surrogacy for myself. If I have the parts… I’m gonna get my well-use out of them.” Maxwell also plans on breastfeeding his baby since he is still able to produce milk.
The dad also does not view pregnancy as an exclusively feminine process.
Secondly, he shares that pregnancy is not a “womanly” experience for him. “Do I feel connected to women who share their pregnancies [online]? Yes, but I also feel connected to other trans men who share their pregnancies and non-binary people who share their pregnancies,” Maxwell says.
“Pregnancy in itself is not a feminine, woman thing for me.”
Maxwell adds that taking testosterone has not affected his fertility, although he does not take it while he is pregnant.
He also recognizes that his own experience and feelings toward pregnancy do not take away from those of mothers who go through pregnancy.
“For them, that is a woman thing,” Maxwell says. “For me, it’s not… I’m not a woman and when I’m pregnant, I’m still not a woman.”
In another video, Maxwell says that he came out as transgender when he was 14 years old, and when he became pregnant with his first child at 18, he admitted to having feelings of gender dysphoria throughout the pregnancy. However, his feelings changed after he became pregnant with his second child.
“By the time I had my second, I realized that I was more of a ‘they/he’ than a ‘he/him’... it made me come to terms with myself and my body,” he shares.
While Maxwell claims that he still has moments of dysphoria during this pregnancy, they are few and far between.
He also reveals that his transition does not affect his relationship with his husband, whom he met after he began his transition. The two lost touch for a few years, during which Maxwell met his ex-partner and had his first two children with. After reconnecting, they got married and Maxwell is currently pregnant with their first child together.
Like Maxwell, there are people who do not identify as a woman who have also successfully gotten pregnant and have given birth.
Most of them are born with a uterus and identify as transgender male, gender fluid, genderqueer, Two-Spirit people, etc.
The exact number of transgender people who have carried pregnancy is unknown, however, a 2019 news release from Rutgers University claimed that their research suggests that up to 30% of transgender men have had unplanned pregnancies.
Contrary to the popular myth, taking testosterone does not make one unable to conceive, nor has it been proven to have detrimental effects on an unborn baby’s health.
Trystan Reese, who transitioned in his early 20s was told by his endocrinologist that he would become infertile after taking testosterone and would never be able to carry a child. In his early 30s, Reese carried and gave birth to a healthy baby.
“I am not a fluke,” Reese wrote for Family Equity. “Hundreds and maybe thousands of transgender men all over the world have successfully given birth or otherwise contributed their eggs to a pregnancy.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.