A Mom Sharing Her Sassy Toddler's Daily Routine Enrages Judgmental Parents—'She's Going To Have Problems All Her Life'
From the toddler's weight to her bedtime routine, some people just couldn't resist taking a joke as an invitation to mom-shame.
TikTok There's simply no getting through parenting a toddler without a well-developed sense of humor, and one mom on TikTok has that in spades. But after she posted a hilarious parody of a day in the life of her toddler daughter, not everyone was loving her jokes, and some couldn't help but turn the whole thing into an opportunity to mom-shame.
A TikToker filmed a hilariously irreverent video detailing her toddler's daily routine.
The video TikToker and mom Avery Woods, known as @averyywoods on the app, made of her daughter is hilarious right from the very first moment. Filmed with a voiceover supposed to be her daughter's narration, it opens with her little girl addressing the audience, "Hey, f—kers."
What follows is as irreverent as you'd expect, a hilarious and profanity-filled rundown of the little girl's post-nap schedule told from her own point of view.
The TikTok shows the toddler proudly bragging about misbehaving, having a tantrum, and generally being difficult.
"First of all, woke up p-ssed," the little girl's voiceover says over footage of Woods' daughter waking up from her nap, before going on to show a long list of misbehaviors that will be familiar to anyone who's ever cared for a toddler. "Then I did this thing with my mom's nail that really p-sses her off," the voiceover says as the toddler bends back her mom's manicured fingernail, "but honestly, she made me mad by waking me up, so she deserves it."
The hilarity continues with the toddler having a tantrum for a reason that will be instantly relatable to parents—because she was not allowed to play with something that could kill her. "My mom ripped a lighter out of my hands and I fu-king lost my sh-t," the toddler's voiceover says, "because why can't I play with that? So dumb." Toddler logic at its best.
By this point in the day, Woods has resorted to simply letting her toddler win, as parents so often must for their own sanity. Woods plies her daughter with a treat, a Costco chocolate muffin, to assuage her tantrum. "Which was dope," the little girl's fake voiceover says, "I love those and it made me way happier."
The video goes on to show the toddler causing so much chaos her mom gives her melatonin so she'll go to bed.
Actually, chaos doesn't even cover it. Anarchy is a better word. After a "mediocre dinner" that "I just threw on the ground," the little girl is again plied with a treat, eating an ice cream cone in the jacuzzi. That turns into a disaster—"pretty shortly after I sh-t all over the pool deck and in the pool and made my mom gag," the toddler reports. "It was fu-king awesome."
From here, the family has a movie night during which the toddler throws popcorn and stomps it into the rug, at which point her mom has finally had enough and gives her "my favorite purple gummy I take at night, and for some reason I always sleep likea fu-king rock when she gives me that." That's because the gummy is the sleep-inducing supplement melatonin.
After the melatonin gummy, it's time for "my baba, which is the reason for existing," the toddler says. "I will never stop drinking babas, so good luck to my parents." Thankfully, it's not long before the little girl is finally asleep.
The mom was shamed for her daughter's diet, weight and for giving her sugar.
"This kid's running on sugar, artificial flavors and colors, tv screens, and melatonin," one commenter sniped. "And then add milk on the teeth before that sleep. Without brushing," another added.
Several commenters even went so far as to mock the little girl's body—which is at a totally normal level of adorable baby-fat pudginess for a kid her age. But because of the sugar she was fed in the video, people raked the girl's mom over the coals. "Absolutely the worst!" another user lamented. "Toddler is already overweight and it’s not her fault. She’s going to have problems all her life."
Others expressed concerns about giving melatonin to a child so small. Most of these commenters were kind and offered information about certain potential side effects, particularly studies that have indicated the supplement may delay puberty. But as the Boston Children's Hospital details in the video below, melatonin is mostly safe for kids so long as it's used in moderation and not before the child is three years of age.
And the supplement's potential puberty-delaying effects have only been observed in animal studies, and there is as yet no evidence that they have the same impacts on humans. So calm down, mom-shamers.
Thankfully, most of the people who viewed Woods' video found it hilarious, not to mention relatable. "We’re all living the same life," one parent wrote. And the utter anarchy of the video made at least one person reconsider their own parenting plans. "This was the ultimate birth control but in the cutest funniest way, thank you," one commenter joked.
And several parents were relieved to see another mom was just as exasperated—and reliant upon plying her kid with sugary treats—as they are. "Not gonna lie," one mom wrote, "it’s nice to see you give your kids sugar...makes me feel better!" Parenting isn't for the faint of heart—and it's impossible to do it right anyway. So let the kid have her Costco chocolate muffin. It's better than playing with a lighter!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social media and human interest topics.