Mom Records Kids Screaming & Crying As Their Dad Dumps Their Toys Because They Didn't Clean Their Room When Told To
Viewers were outraged at this mom's rash punishment and shared how similar experiences in their childhood shaped them.
cottonbro studio / Pexels & TikTok Parenting styles have been a hot topic recently, with buzzwords like “gentle parenting” popping up seemingly everywhere.
The term is often misconstrued as permissive parenting by critics, leading some frustrated parents to conclude that gentle parenting just doesn’t work for them. However, gentle parenting doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want with no consequences. The core of gentle parenting is treating your child with understanding and respect. This can mean modeling positive behavior, communicating openly with your child, and finding developmentally appropriate ways to establish rules and boundaries.
Parenting is never easy, and consciously implementing gentle parenting techniques requires a lot of patience. Dismissing the idea as a whole, though, and resorting to authoritative parenting — parenting with an emphasis on punishment and obedience — can often cause more harm than good.
A mom recorded her children screaming and crying as their dad threw their things into a trash bag.
The woman, Kimberly, had been telling her kids to clean their room for an hour “or daddy will be coming in with a trash bag,” but they “didn’t listen.” In her video, she’s silently recording while her kids cry in the background.
After turning off the comments on her post, Kimberly deleted the video and seems to have taken down her TikTok account. However, the video was reuploaded and posted by multiple other users who had things to say about it.
Hundreds of comments labeled the parents’ behavior as 'emotional abuse' and 'traumatic.'
Some of the most popular videos featuring Kimberly’s original TikTok explained how throwing out children’s belongings can be harmful — not to mention recording their reactions and posting them online. One user criticized Kimberly for “shaming” her children, while other users shared similar experiences they had gone through and how it had affected them.
Plenty of commenters had also had their belongings thrown out and felt like their parents had gone too far. “My mom used to do this to us. We still struggled with messy rooms and just learned to distrust our mom,” said one user.
Others expressed how instances like these had long-term effects on their relationships with their belongings and cleaning up. “This is why I have hoarding issues now,” stated one user, while another said, “Now it is nearly impossible for me to have any attachment to anything.”
While some argued that either throwing away kids’ toys was an effective way to teach children consequences, it seemed like the majority came to a consensus that the punishment was unnecessarily harsh.
Some users like parenting expert Marcela Collier (@highimpactclub) suggested alternative, non-punitive methods for getting kids to clean up. Collier pointed out that young children may struggle with sequenced tasks. Rather than just telling kids to clean their rooms, parents could set aside time to clean together with them. “Acknowledge their efforts as they go, make it fun,” Collier proposed.
Commenters on her video also brought up the value of being flexible when possible. “I used to think a clean room was mandatory because of how I was raised. It’s their room. Their space” said one commenter. “As long as it’s SAFE and SANITARY then leave it!"
Ultimately, what works for some families may not work for others, but certain behaviors are definitely more likely to foster fear and resentment in parent-child relationships.
Disposing of kids’ belongings (or even making them believe that said items are being permanently thrown away) teaches kids that they don’t have control over their own space.
Children might struggle with cleaning for a number of reasons, and they deserve compassion — how would you feel if someone threw out all your favorite things because you didn’t feel like cleaning up, then posted your reaction online?
Nobody expects parents to be perfect, but it’s important to remember that kids are people too. They deserve to feel safe, respected, and heard – even when they’re driving you up the wall.
Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis, California. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.