Mom Shares Daughter's Reaction After Her Dad Promised To Pick Her Up & Buy Her A Gift But Never Showed
She couldn't understand why her dad didn't want to see her.
TikTok A mom's heartwrenching video of her daughter in tears, as she drove her home, is shedding light on some of the issues single moms face when their child's other parent lets them down.
Alyssa is a single working mom using her TikTok account to show the realities of co-parenting and raising happy kids when one parent isn't making good on their promises.
The teacher is a mom to a little girl and is one of 80% of single-parent households that are headed by mothers. Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 13 million — are being raised without a father.
In a TikTok video, the single mom shared her daughter's reaction to her father failing to show up for visitation.
In Alyssa’s video, that has since been deleted or made private, she filmed her daughter crying and saying “He doesn’t want to come see me.” As a parent, how are you supposed to handle seeing your child in tears over something so difficult to explain? Anyone would be upset if someone they cared about consistently failed to show up for them, and for children, this can be especially hurtful and confusing.
"When my daughter's dad promised to pick her up to buy her a Barbie dream house and never showed up," she writes in the caption of the video, "Absent fathers have no idea how much they actually hurt their children."
Regardless of why the child’s father was unable to show up, he clearly let down his daughter. Judging by the caption labeling him an “absent father,” it seems very likely that it wasn’t the first time something similar had happened.
Commenters on Alyssa's post rushed to offer consolation and empathy.
Comments on Alyssa’s post expressed their sympathy towards her daughter, with some users sharing how they had gone through similar experiences. Lots of others volunteered to step up and buy the child the Barbie dream house she wanted. "We're her new aunties," said one commenter.
A few people advised Alyssa to stop telling her daughter if her father was planning to show up since the opportunities he’d missed had already caused so much damage. “Went through that with my babies,” said one commenter. “I stopped telling my kids he was coming, they were just surprised when he did show up.” Another said “Just don’t tell her he’s coming,” to which Alyssa responded, “I’m doing that now and she’s a whole lot better and only needs me in her life.”
Single moms make up a large proportion of parents in the United States.
The effects of having an absent father can be extremely detrimental. According to the University Of British Columbia, children with absent fathers face social adjustment difficulties later in life at higher rates than children with active fathers in their lives. Other traits include skipping school and poor grades, committing crimes at young ages, promiscuity, and poor future relationships.
The absence of one parent also places a significant burden on the other. According to the United States Census Bureau, the US has the highest rate of children living in single-parent households in the world.
Single moms in the US deal with a crushing amount of pressure. According to Single Mother Guide, single mothers in the US work more but have higher poverty rates than single mothers in other high-income countries due to a variety of factors, including low wages, a lack of paid leave, housing and childcare expenses, and wage inequality.
Despite all of these hardships, single moms like Alyssa are doing their best to take care of their children, and as the outpouring of support on her TikTok would indicate, we're here for them.
Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis, California. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.