Mom Shares She Called The Police On Son After He Vandalized Her Entire Home—But She's Getting Blamed For Poor Parenting
Before passing judgment, remember: you can never get the full story from one video.
TikTok While it’s certainly not hard to spark controversy online, one topic that never fails to engage people is parenting. Whatever the situation may be, if parenting is involved, you can count on finding commenters eager to speculate, sympathize, judge, or provide (often unsolicited) advice.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that you can rarely get the full story from posts. Lots of factors are at play when raising a child, and it’s generally best to approach any situation with compassion for both the child in question and their caregivers.
A woman on TikTok got seriously judged after sharing the damage her 17-year-old son caused to her house.
In a viral TikTok, Amber Islaffin (@amberislaffin) showed the aftermath of her son’s abusive outburst towards her.
She tried to “put her foot down” after he stole from her, stayed in his room smoking all day, and treated her with “overall disrespect.” In response, her son punched a hole in their wall, made a mess of the house, and bruised Amber’s arm.
She called the police on her son and had him charged, saying that she is “the one who teaches him what is acceptable, and this is NOT acceptable.”
Comments on Amber’s TikTok ranged from sympathetic to outright hostile.
Many people thanked Amber for sharing her experience and bringing awareness to the issue of dealing with abusive behavior in children, with commenters sharing support and personal stories. Others didn’t understand or agree with Amber posting about her situation. Comments like “Why can’t parents keep their child’s business within the house?” were met with replies defending Amber, including one user stating that the post “helps other mums that are in the same situation see that [they’re] not alone,” and that “it can help the kid in many different ways when a mum gets support and advice that can help her to help her child.”
While many comments were sympathetic, other users blamed Amber for her son’s behavior.
A shocking amount of comments on Amber’s post explicitly blamed her for her son’s outburst. “Kids don’t just end up like this” and “The problems start with you, you need to take responsibility as a parent. What is your child lacking from YOU?” were some of the top comments on the video.
Some users demanded details, including comments like: “This didn’t happen overnight. What is the back story?” and “What parenting style did you use when he was young?” Others admonished her for getting her son involved in the legal system.
While plenty of users came to Amber’s defense, the amount of backlash on her post was so staggering that many comments were checking in on her. “For everyone screaming at OP. I gotta know. Momma, are you ok?” asked one user.
Since the initial video was posted in March of 2022, Amber has posted multiple updates on her son’s situation.
In her most recent videos, her son was being held at a psychiatric ward after a relapse and substance-induced psychotic episode. He is currently receiving treatment (including medication and a stabilization program), and as of April 8th was set to be discharged soon. He is now a parent himself, with a newborn son.
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Amber encouraged other parents not to give up on their children.
To other parents in similar situations, Amber’s advice was, “Don’t give up, keep fighting, but also let go of control… Be easy on yourselves.”
There’s never one simple explanation for a child’s behavior. Certain parenting styles work well for some but not for others, and factors such as mental health, addiction, and a lack of institutional support can deeply affect people’s lives.
As one commenter stated, “Sometimes you can do everything right as a parent and after a certain point in their lives, they choose whom they want to become.” While you can’t force someone to change their behavior, Amber assured other parents that “change will happen when it’s time.”
Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis, California. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.