A Man's Girlfriend Inherited $30,000 And Wants To Spend It On Her Hobby — He Says It's 'Our Money'
He wants her to spend it on something they can enjoy together.
DC Studio, Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock, ShenStock, rorylove via CanvaPro A man wrote into Slate’s “Pay Dirt” column, focused on money advice, to inquire about a predicament he’s in with his girlfriend who has recently come into a large inheritance — a $30,000 sum.
He and his girlfriend have gotten into an argument over how she should spend those $30,000, inquiring about whether or not she should be spending her own, personal funds on their future and their family.
He thinks she should spend the $30,000 inheritance on their kids, but she wants to spend it on her hobby.
“My long-term girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be ‘her’ money or ‘our’ money,” he wrote, getting right to the point. “She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby.”
He thinks they should save the money instead, and look towards planning a trip for both of them since they “both find traveling extremely romantic.” She clearly disagrees, so he listed out both of their arguments very clearly, opening up his by saying “I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad.”
A pretty cold start, and kind of selfish to boot, but he continues forward, claiming “We’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to ‘her’ windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years?”
Once again, he gives a very self-serving response, especially when thrown against the girlfriend’s solid argument. He claims that “she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it,” but perhaps the most glaring part of the argument here, is the next revelation he makes.
“She paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years,” he reveals.
Nearly $1 million in a home, all entirely paid by his partner, and he can’t just sit back and “let” her use some of her inheritance on a hobby she hasn’t been able to partake in for years? He shouldn’t even have to “let” her, because it isn’t up to him.
The column writer agrees that it’s not up to him, it’s his girlfriend’s money.
“I’m afraid your girlfriend is right; it’s her money, not your shared money. Her great-aunt did not leave it to both of you,” Elizabeth Spiers, the writer responding to this man’s letter, writes, and she’s right. Her great-aunt gave it to her, it’s her money. He had no right to it when it was her aunt’s so why would he have any right to it now?
“I also find it odd that you mention that your girlfriend bought the nearly million-dollar house you’re living in entirely in cash as if that were not a significant contribution,” she also shares. “If you’re going to keep score regarding who contributes what, then you need to get the math right.”
A relationship shouldn’t be about keeping score, either way, but if they were keeping score, then he would likely be losing. He admitted to having a low salary that they’ve been living off of, but as Elizabeth points out if it hasn’t reached nearly a million dollars, then he shouldn’t be starting any conversations about money.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.