Husband Tells Chronically Ill Wife They Can't Afford To Travel — But He's Going On 2 Trips With His Family
Her husband's focus on his own side of the family isn't fair to his sick wife.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels A woman wrote to Dear Abby with a heartbreaking concern, seeking advice on how to navigate an emotionally-charged conflict with her husband. The woman explained that seven years ago, she was diagnosed with chronic heart failure, an illness that has no cure.
“I want to see and do more before my life is over,” the woman said. She told her husband that she wants to travel and see the world, but he wasn’t supportive of her final wish.
The husband told his chronically ill wife that they can't afford to travel, yet he’s planning two trips to see his family.
The woman explained that she’s been married to her husband for 29 years. She discussed her desire to travel with her therapist, and after that conversation, felt like she could finally express her wish to her husband.
“He said he understands, but we will need to save for a trip and won’t be able to go until late next year,” the woman said. Yet the woman knows she doesn’t have unlimited time, stating, “I need to go somewhere to see more of the world very soon.”
She said she’d consider traveling on her own, yet her husband believes they don’t have enough money for her to do so.
“He told me we needed to close out an old bank account in which there was $3,000,” the woman said. “We have spent other money I don’t think was necessary.”
Her husband claims they can’t afford to travel, yet he’s planned two separate trips to see his side of the family.
“We are going to his sister’s wedding in a few months, which will cost around $2,500,” the woman said. “He’s already talking about how he’s going to take his annual vacation to see his family.”
Jason Toevs / Pexels
The woman’s sister suggested that they take a trip together, to a location four hours away from her home by car. They would only be gone for about four days, yet her husband doesn’t want her to go. She approached him with her sister’s idea, but he told her “We’ll see” if they could afford for her to travel.
“He doesn’t seem to realize that this is an issue about my mental health,” the woman said. “I have explained my reasons several times.”
She’s even considering “to just go and charge it on the credit card,” but she’s worried that if she does, it will hurt her relationship. “I love him,” she said. “What can I do?”
The advice columnist acknowledged that the woman’s chronic illness lends an acute urgency to her desire to travel. She wondered if the husband would be willing to “just this once” skip his family trip and travel with his wife instead.
She also suggested that the woman talk more to her therapist about the larger issue at hand: that her husband appears to be in control of making financial decisions, and isn’t taking her needs into account. She stated, “Your husband should not be controlling the purse strings to the extent he has been because it appears he has been using the money to do only the things he wants to do.”
While it’s an entirely valid sentiment for the woman to not want to damage her marriage at the end of her life, it doesn’t appear that her husband cares about what she wants. The woman is all too aware that this is her last chance, the only life she has to live. She shouldn’t have to compromise her deepest desire for a husband who seemingly doesn’t take her life into consideration.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.