Dad Tells Parents Why They Should Stop Worrying About Giving Their Children A 'Better Future'
It's important for parents to make sure their children are having happy childhoods.
@moreabrahampiper / TikTok In a touching video that has resonated with many people, a father explained why parents shouldn't worry so much about their children's futures as much as they should worry about the present.
In a TikTok video, Abraham Piper shared that while it is perfectly normal for parents to be concerned about their children's futures while wanting to prepare them for life as an adult, it shouldn't have to always be like that.
Piper shared that parents should start worrying about giving their children a good past.
"What if the goal of parenting isn't to give your kids a good future, it's impossible anyway," Piper began in his video. He pointed out that the future is uncertain and constantly changing.
While it is understandable that parents would want to make sure their children are set up for the life ahead of them, it shouldn't be the main concern. "The future is uncertain. So, is it the best use of our parental energy, our love, to continue trying to achieve the impossible?"
"Isn't there something instead where success could happen right now instead of 30 years down the road, if at all? Imagine if there's a goal for parents that we could achieve every day and know it," Piper, a self-described artist and author, continued.
As a solution, Piper encouraged parents to not worry about giving their children a bright future, but instead try and give them a good past. "A huge part of who we feel as individuals are our memories, our history, and our kids are becoming themselves every day in this respect. And we're in charge of it."
Piper then talked about the book "The Philosophical Baby" by Alison Gopnik, and how Gopnik explains how parents can determine one important aspect of their child's adult life by making sure their childhoods are filled with happy memories they can bring into their adulthood.
"It is great to be rich, smart, mentally healthy, all those things we want for our children, but it's just as valuable to have the ineradicable gift of a happy childhood," Piper continued, adding that some of those things include a "trip to the park, hugs before bed, [and] letting them choose the music in the car."
"The present we can almost control or at least feel like it and that feeling is all we're dealing with here because we get to see our efforts work right now and not just hope they will."
Creating a happy and memorable childhood is an important aspect of a child's development.
According to the National Institute for Children's Healthy Quality, in the United States, 34.8 million children (ages 0-17) are exposed to adverse childhood experiences that can severely harm their future health and well-being.
Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's lives, and one important aspect of parenting is creating happy childhood memories. Positive experiences during early years can help develop a strong sense of self-worth, self-confidence and resilience, which can have long-term benefits throughout their lives.
Photo: Shutterstock / FamVeld
Life is also filled with ups and downs, but creating happy childhood memories can serve as a source of comfort and resilience during difficult times. Children who have experienced joy and happiness are more likely to develop effective coping mechanisms and bounce back from setbacks.
In the comments section, people resonated with Piper's parenting philosophy and shared their thoughts.
"As a parent who is working so hard to break the generational trauma cycle; my heart needed to hear this today," one TikTok user wrote, while another user added, "I feel that their future is not for me to control or project, it's their foundation that's my responsibility."
A third user chimed in, "And as they grow… Remind them of their happy memories. My kids have always loved hearing fun stories when they were kids."
It's important to acknowledge that creating happy childhood memories doesn't mean shielding children from all negative experiences or challenges. It's about striking a balance, and providing a supportive, loving environment while allowing them to learn, grow, and develop resilience.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.