5 Ways The Smartest Couples Avoid 'Financial Toxicity' In Their Marriages
Stop your money problems from ruining your relationship.
Ridofranz | Canva Monetary stress is more prevalent than ever. Stressing over your finances cannot only strain your shopping habits but also take a huge toll on your relationship.
You might be in the "unicorn and butterflies" beginning stage of a relationship and can't imagine ever fighting over financials, but monetary stress tends to sneak up on you.
Most couples who are in it for the long haul plan on living together or building a future together, but they will eventually find themselves fighting over dolla-dolla bills. Here are five steps to avoid the financial strain on your relationship.
Here are five ways the smartest couples avoid 'financial toxicity' in their marriages:
1. Put it all out on the table.
Sit down with your partner, pour a glass of wine, and talk about the state of your finances and your attitudes toward money.
Pexels / Pavel Danilyuk
Do you have a lot of debt from student loans? A shoe-shopping habit? Or are you a supersaver who obsesses over her Mint account and doesn't even have a credit card?
Coming clean about your money history and habits can be scary, so make a pact up front that this will be a judgment-free zone, and don't hold back. Talk, talk, and then talk some more.
2. Determine your goals as a couple.
Are you moving in together for the first time and figuring out who should pay for what? Are you saving to buy a home? Whatever your goals may be, keeping them front and center will keep things in perspective when money tension starts brewing.
3. Make a plan and stick to it.
There are better ways to spend a Saturday night than having a two-hour conversation about how you will divide rent and utilities. But, if it prevents you from having a massive blowout about the electric bill, it's oh-so worth it.
The plan should include both of you working together as a team and supporting each other, with the goal being that nobody ever feels taken for granted.
4. Recognize when you need help.
Being in a serious relationship means allowing yourself to be vulnerable in all ways, including financially. Life happens; you might lose your job or need emergency funds that you don't have available.
No matter how independent you are, it's okay to ask your partner for help and to lean on him when things get rough. Being upfront and honest will bring you much further than trying to handle things independently and digging yourself into a deeper hole.
5. Don't take frustrations out on each other.
If you've ever gone through a period of financial stress, you know how anxiety, frustration, and helplessness can change your mood and behavior. When you're both stressed, it can be a recipe for disaster.
Approach things like a team, not like one against the other. When you start to feel monetary stress creeping up on your relationship, grab his hand and go do something fun—and cheap, of course.
Don't feel too bad about being stressed about money. According to statistics, 72% of adults say they have anxiety due to money.
Lottie Williams is the Head of Content at We Love Dates. She has been featured in Patti Knows, the Independent, askmen, and more.