13 Subtle Traits Of People Who Are Everyone's Favorite Coworkers
Manage conflicts to be more likely to avoid issues in the future.
olia danilevich | Pexels When disagreements arise between coworkers (as they inevitably will), knowing the most effective conflict resolution skills to diffuse tension will help everyone stay professional in the heat of the moment and strengthen working relationships.
Dealing with difficult people and differences of opinion is never easy. But when we are equipped with good conflict management skills, the people who are everyone's favorite workmates manage conflict more easily and are more likely to avoid issues in the future.
13 special skills of the people everyone loves to work with
1. They know how to identify the difficult people at work
Difficult people may resist feedback or change, causing friction within the team. They tend to have poor communication skills, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Difficult individuals may lack empathy, making it challenging to build rapport and maintain healthy working relationships.
Other traits of difficult people at work include:
- Stubbornness
- Unwillingness to collaborate
- A negative attitude
- Inability to compromise
- Easily frustrated
- Passive-aggressive
- Not being a team player
- Poor listening skills
- Argumentative
- Complaining often
2. They don't cut contact with people they disagree with or are hard to get along with
Difficult people find it tempting to cut all contact when butting heads with a colleague, then spread the word they can't work with the person they disagree with any longer and tell everyone not to sit them together at upcoming events or meetings.
They don't want to explain, apologize, or listen to another side of the story. But, if they dismiss every coworker whenever a conflict occurs, they will end up in a cold and unpleasant workplace.
Colleagues, friends, and even loving partners disagree occasionally. That’s life. But good team members don’t cut off contact each time a conflict happens with challenging coworkers.
When it comes to difficult people, people who get along with everyone at work take steps to repair and rebuild their working relationships by employing critical conflict resolution techniques that will dissolve tension and strengthen ties with coworkers, as supported by the Handbook of Industrial, Work, and Organizational psychology.
3. They make an appointment to discuss the problem when someone is being disagreeable
People who are easy to get along with will find a time when "H.A.L.T." issues aren't preventing anyone from bringing their best self to the conversation. People have H.A.L.T. issues when they feel Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Meeting together is about addressing the issue and working out the differences while setting a plan to be efficient in the workplace. Sometimes, a difficult person will comply, but they also might not listen or find the whole thing to be annoying.
Staying calm during the meeting ensures boundaries are clear.
4. They stay on topic during meetings & when someone disagrees
People who are liked by everyone at work keep their conversations on-topic and refuse to "argue" if a conflict arises during meetings or in workplace discussions.
The APA Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology suggests they are sure not to stray off the topic when they are speaking to high-conflict people at work and are the bigger person when someone tries to derail them. They never deter to personal attacks or insults. They are clear and concise and try to leave out anything accusatory.
Staying on topic and avoiding accusations contains the discussion and helps keep things manageable.
5. They don’t bring up negative aspects of the past
One way people who get along well deal with a difficult person is to avoid words like “always” and “never” when speaking to them. They know how it feels if someone says harmful words to them, always interrupts people when they are talking, or never picks up a check at a restaurant.
These types of comments can ignite fresh hostility, so they stick to the issues at hand.
6. They refrain from name-calling
It's hard to make peace by calling someone a “stupid jerk” or worse names. So, people who are liked by others stay away from name-calling or derogatory statements because it will only escalate the situation, as shown by an article in Nursing Journal.
They keep it classy and considerate and are, above all, professional about it.
7. They don't share details with their office pals
Well-liked people know conflict isn't a time to try to get everyone to join their side of the argument. Doing that just adds to the level of hostility in the workplace and will negate any positive conflict management strategies.
They keep things contained, as they don't want to start gossip or drama. They can rant or vent to other people in their lives but keep it out of their work life.
8. They are willing to listen
Thinking of a response while talking to the person who disagrees is still talking is not listening. People who get along well with others hear what the other person is saying because there might be a legitimate reason the other person behaved as they did.
A study from the University of Southern Maine supports People don’t always perceive situations the same way, so allowing everyone to share their side of the story helps ease conflict.
9. They are willing to compromise
It's harder to resolve a conflict if we expect to win all the time. Sometimes, we have to do a little bit of compromising. In the end, people who are liked have to pick their battles. They are wise about the conflicts they participate in and have clear boundaries about compromising.
10. They take a break when needed
If we are too upset to remain open-minded, it is best to stop the discussion immediately. People who are well-liked set a mutually convenient time to revisit the problem and then do something to calm themselves.
They might take a brisk walk, listen to music, or meditate. Watching television or taking a bath can help when they are at home. After relaxing, people tend to feel more compassionate and less argumentative, as explored by an article in the Humanistic Management Journal.
Taking a break is a conflict management technique to help people speak openly and honestly about the conflict with their coworkers.
11. They don't react
Most of the time, difficult coworkers just want to get a reaction. So, if they get a reaction, they will likely repeat their actions, as suggested by a study in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology.
People who are liked have to gain their power by not giving the satisfaction of being reactive. They don't give difficult people anything when that person is being difficult. They either ignore them or say something to make themselves look indifferent.
12. They use 'I' statements
During conflicts, well-liked people share their feelings with "I" instead of “you” language. "You" language places blame and inflames the battle.
- An example of “I” language: “I feel angry because I wasn't consulted.”
- An example of “you” language: “You didn’t ask me to speak. What you did was really mean.”
People who are well-liked respectfully manage work-related conflicts that arise. As they do, they find the process strengthens all of their relationships.
13. They get the boss involved when needed
If all else fails, people who maintain being liked know it is best to get their superiors involved in conflicts with coworkers. Sometimes, as shown in an Advisory, Conciliation, and Arbitration Service funded study, difficult people need to be held accountable for their actions.
People who maintain being like can explain what the problem is and the steps they have taken to remedy it. Their superiors should put a plan in place to fix the situation and avoid conflict in the future.
Janis Roszler is a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified therapist, author, and award-winning medical media producer. She travels internationally as a speaker on relationships and health-related topics.