You Deserve A Love You Never Have To Question
If you sit around asking yourself the same questions over and over, you’re wasting your own time.
andrii antonenko / Shutterstock A healthy romance is one that complements your existence, not dominates it.
A love that has you constantly worried or in doubt is one that will sabotage your entire life.
It will sap the energy from your mind, drain friends’ willingness to support you and ultimately, ruin the time you’ve chosen to spend with the one person you’re supposed to be able to count on as a peaceful, blissful haven from the outside world.
There are a lot of questions that come with any relationship that doesn’t mean you’re doomed together. "Is he the right one?" "Have I made a mistake? "What if there’s someone better out there?" "Does this person love me as much as I love them?"
Literally, every married couple I’ve spoken to has admitted that not only have they asked themselves these questions at least once, but these questions return from time to time in a relationship. That’s not only normal, but it’s also healthy — because it keeps the inquirer fresh and present.
As long as those questions aren’t persistently cropping up the majority of the time, they’re not red flags. Promise.
You're smart enough to know the difference in a few casual “Wait. Are we okay?” questions here and there and what it’s like to be in a relationship you’re constantly second-guessing. Chances are if you’re reading this, you already know where your relationship stands.
The same goes if you’re constantly asking your friends what they think about your love life. You already have the answers and you don’t need to stoop to siphoning others’ energy to figure it out yourself.
If you’re wondering if this person you love loves you, get out.
If you find yourself routinely questioning their honesty, their loyalty, or their intentions, get out.
If you second-guess the majority of what he says to you or are always left trying to figure out the truth about what happened during your relationship’s rough patches, get out of there.
Yes, this person is wasting your time, but if you’re sitting around asking yourself the same questions over and over, you’re ultimately wasting it yourself.
You deserve better. You deserve love with someone who makes his intentions clear and his feelings transparent through his words and actions.
You deserve to be in a relationship in which you are comfortable enough with your partner to live your fullest life outside the time you are together. You deserve to be with someone who raises you up instead of drags you down with doubt.
I don’t care how long you’ve been together. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through before now.
If you have spent a considerable amount of time questioning your relationship, have made every effort to solve these problems, but are still struggling to find solid answers, GET OUT OF THERE.
You deserve better than this. And when you find the love that makes you feel certain in every moment, you will not only be shocked with how easy and seamless it feels, but you'll be incredulous that you ever wasted time on anything less.
Liz Pardue-Schultz is a writer whose work has appeared in Huffington Post, Time Magazine, XOJane, Ravishly, and ThoughtCatalog.