9 Respectable Ways Brilliant Women Raise The Bar And Attract High-Quality Men
A woman who sets the bar high for her partners attracts the best possible men.
mimagephotography | Canva Until you realize, accept, believe, and own that you are a high-quality, worthy woman whose needs are valid and should be heard, no one else will believe it, either. And when you do, you’ll be unstoppable.
Even better, you'll attract more high-quality men. Why? Because insecure, petty guys hate boundaries and will flee high standards.
Nine respectable ways women raise the bar to attract high-quality men
1. They know what their needs are
If you’re like most women, you have no idea what your needs are. Isn’t that sad? Sadly, you haven’t taken the time to listen to yourself, to tap into your core, to hear, and listen to what you need. I’m not talking about what you need based on insecurity, self-doubt, “shoulds,” anger, resentment, hurt, or an attempt to please another.
2. They get present with their needs
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Strip down to your core — to your vulnerable needs. Take a breath. Exhale. Drop your shoulders. Release the muscles in your neck and jaw. Stop thinking. Stop trying. Stop doing.
Just… Be. Be present in this moment: What do you need?
"To be in a successful relationship, it’s important that everyone’s needs are being met, or at least most of them. One person can’t be all things to another person, but one person should make every effort to take care of the needs of the person they love. Only by doing so can their relationship be the happy and healthy one they desire," recommended relationship coach Mitzi Bockmann.
3. They know self-integrity is everything
Once you know what you need, then it’s about self-integrity. You might think you know what that is, and you might have a long definition and explanation for it.
The way to look at integrity is this: Do my feelings match my words and actions?
Is there a disconnect or a break within that statement for you? It’s OK if there is. That’s common and exactly what you need to address.
Once you have integrity, once you stand for something and assert your needs — which doesn’t mean being unkind — you become unstoppable.
Once you have a purpose, you can act on your purpose to make sure your needs are met. This is how you show your self-worth. In turn, others will treat you as being worthy. But research in the Journal of Personality showed how it all starts with you.
4. They are an example of their expectations of others
It takes courage, which lies at your core. Courage isn’t about going off to war, saving a family from a burning home, putting yourself in the line of fire, or doing superhuman tasks. It’s simply about being true to your core, and that’s scary.
Being true to yourself requires vulnerability. It takes courage to tap into your stripped-down, raw self and act on it. It takes courage to be yourself without fear of judgment, hurt, or failure.
5. They know integrity and confidence are alluring
When it comes to dating, do you know what two of the most attractive traits for a woman are? Confidence and integrity.
A confident woman knows her worth. She takes pride in herself, which is apparent through her attitude and appearance. She isn’t looking for approval from anyone. She knows she’s great.
She also knows the right person will be lucky to be with her because she can make them happier than any other woman can, but she's not unkind about it, as suggested by a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
6. They make themselves "the prize"
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The fact is, people want to feel like they won a prize — like they are dating the head of the cheerleading team. They want to feel like they are the luckiest person in the room.
Just as someone you date wants you to be proud of them, they want to be proud of you, too. If you have a bummer, insecure, self-deprecating, “I’m not so great” attitude, why would anyone you date feel like they scored?
Whether it's your looks, brain, triumphs, the respect you garner, your career, or simply how you push yourself through challenges, anyone you date wants to feel like they can show you off.
They need to know they can confidently “bring you home to mom,” introduce you to their friends, and accompany them to business dinners with their boss — because you make them feel good.
- Do you have integrity and the strength to act on it?
- Are you strong in your values and beliefs?
- Do you waver, fluctuate, appear wishy-washy, or seem easily influenced?
Who are you? What do you believe in? Do you stand by it? Do you have integrity? Or are your words and beliefs worthless? Can someone depend on what you say? Do your actions align with your words?
7. Their trustworthiness and integrity make others feel safe and secure
A woman who has unshakable beliefs is someone who makes others feel safe.
A feeling of safety is one of the most crucial elements when it comes to the ability to trust. You want the person you date to feel secure letting their guard down and opening their heart completely.
They should know they can depend on you for good or bad, in sickness and health, weakness and triumph. In moments of uncertainty, the one thing your person can be certain of is you — because you are certain of yourself.
8. They become confidently vulnerable
Be you. Be confidently vulnerable, nothing more. And you will be unstoppable.
When you stand for something, and have the confidence to back it up, you will expect and even require more from others, because you expect and deliver more from yourself.
"Despite the myths, getting emotionally naked with someone doesn't have to involve sharing your deepest desires, failings, or secrets. Sometimes, it's the little things you do to unveil who you are and take action that can change your life forever. The context doesn't matter; it's the same experience of divulging who you are and risking negative consequences on some level. Yes, being vulnerable is scary. Choose to do it anyway," advised wellness coach Lisa Petsinis.
9. They know they deserve more
You will quickly realize you have been settling for crumbs and selling yourself short. You deserve more than that. Then you realize how you will get better because you won’t accept less than you deserve.
Laurel House is an international celebrity dating and relationship coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” and a writer who has appeared in Oprah, Vogue, The Washington Post, and 500 other media outlets. Find out more about her new dating course, Love Actually Academy