Why I’m Weirdly Attracted To Atheists
It’s not because of atheism, per se.
Stock-Studio / Shutterstock I don’t believe there’s a God.
My parents do. They’re super religious. And they’ve both benefited from it a lot. They’re kinder, more hopeful, and healthier because they believe in God. So while I don’t believe there’s a God, I also realize that a belief in God might be incredibly helpful to people.
This is why I never tell them that I don’t believe in God. And when they ask me to pray, I comply happily because it makes them content.
When I tell people that I don’t believe that God exists, but also at the same time, know that a belief in God can be incredibly helpful; they ask me why I don’t just start believing just for the sake of the benefits of belief.
It made sense, so I tried. But fortunately or unfortunately, I couldn’t.
I used to believe in God, though. My parents basically brainwashed me into believing in God as a kid. I remember a time when I used to wonder, “How does God know that a woman is married and how does he/she send a baby in her belly?”
This naive thought was borne out of the fact that in India, unmarried couples having babies was very rare, and also, as a child, I didn’t understand what sex was.
But now I know better, so I do better.
(A curious side note: Today I asked my 4-year-old niece whether or not he attended his parents’ wedding. He replied that he didn’t because he was still with God at the time. I smiled because I thought that was pretty cute and it almost overlapped with my own past naivete.)
I was always curious though. If there’s a God, why can’t I see one? Why haven’t they made their presence apparent? I never received an answer that could quench my curiosity adequately.
So slowly, I grew into an atheist.
And recently, I discovered that I’m weirdly attracted to atheists.
When I hear that someone’s an atheist, I’m instantly more interested in them. I first believed that it might be because I’m an atheist myself and I just found common ground to connect with someone.
But on digging further, I realized that it’s more than that. I realized that I’m attracted to atheists because of two reasons:
- They have the ability to think for themselves.
- They have courage.
The people who tell you to believe in God are also the same people you’re told to put on a pedestal: Your parents. Teachers. Agents of religions like monks, priests, gurus, etc. Real authority figures, you know.
Going against these people is frowned upon. So when someone disregards them and makes a decision for themselves that they in fact don’t want to believe in God, it’s because of their own ability to think.
Mind you, I’m not arguing which is right. Maybe God does exist, and atheists are wrong. But atheists think for themselves instead of believing everything they’re told, and I like that; because being skeptical of what the authorities are telling you is no easy task.
Second; even if someone believes they’re an atheist, to tell it to the world again takes courage. It is to claim that you reject a widely held belief; and since we’re herd animals wanting to conform to the majority, this act of rebellion seems pretty courageous to me; and hence, attractive.
So when I think about it, it’s not exactly atheism that I find attractive.
Atheism is just a proxy for what I truly find attractive in people: courage and free-thinking.
So what I am saying is that atheism or religion; no matter what you choose, these two skills are pretty sexy, and you should spend time developing them.
Akshad Singi, M.D. has been published in Better Humans, Mind Cafe, and more.