Why Most Men Believe In Love At First Sight, According To Research
Research shows that more men believe they have fallen in love with someone at first sight.
Jalena Danilovic | Canva Some people believe that you have to thoroughly get to know someone before you can fall in love.
Others would beg to differ, swearing that love, at first sight, isn't limited to fairy tales. What to believe? According to a poll ... both! Apparently believing in love, at first sight, isn't as silly as society would have you believe, mostly because, well, it's real.
In the 2014 Singles in America survey, 59 percent of men and 49 percent of women said that love, at first sight, is real. Also, 41 percent of men and 29 percent of women said that they have experienced it themselves.
Surprised that men are more in line with the "happily ever after" narrative? Don't be.
Think about it like this:
"Men are so visual," explains biological anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher to the The Wall Street Journal. "They see a woman who appeals to them physically, and it will trigger the romantic love system faster." She adds, “Women are custodians of the egg, so they are more careful romantically.”
A skeptic might point out, "But that's lust, not love."
That's true, but Dr. Fisher explains that these two things work the same way. She says that drive is fueled by testosterone and it can happen quickly. While romantic love is an emotional obsession that happens just as fast.
When people fall in love, their body releases dopamine, causing a reward-like feeling in the brain. “It’s the system that governs wanting, craving, obsessions, focus, energy, and motivation,” Dr. Fisher says. A brain scan of a person in love shows activation in some of the same areas as in a heroin addict, she adds.
Romantic love is made up of three systems — along with drive and deep feelings of attachment — this happens when humans are ready to mate.
The intense desire that comes with a romantic love interest is the need for a connection with the other person. These typically last 18 months to three years, experts say. There's an evolutionary reason for this. It's to help people pick one partner and bond in order to have the best chances at having and raising children into adulthood.
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Like the physical drive for someone, romantic love can almost be triggered within seconds, hence the metaphor of “falling” in love, which implies something quick and unintentional. All mammals experience a form of romantic love, Dr. Fisher says.
"It's an adaptive mechanism for attraction and to start the mating process quickly," says Dr. Fisher.
So if you do fall quickly for someone, don't feel weird about it! Everyone's love story is written at different times, lengths, and details.
Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, and more.