What Women Really Think About Dating A Man Who Loves Attention
"Annoying as sh*t"
yonikamoto / Shutterstock Recently I was at one of those boring media events where I knew about 90 percent of the people and didn't particularly care for 98 percent of that 90 percent.
It's always the same group, each one dropping names like it's going out of style, and bragging about things that I hope someday will embarrass them that they once thought themselves so fancy.
But this time in the group there was someone I had never seen before. I wasn't sure if he was dating someone I knew or just randomly showed up.
From wherever he came, eventually didn't matter because it didn't take long to realize he was one of those people who absolutely feeds off of attention, talks to anyone and everyone even if they're clearly annoyed by them, and is a general boil on the butt of such events.
He was, for lack of a better word, awful, and I couldn't stop thinking about what sort of women would date a man like that. Obviously, a deaf one was what I surmised.
I asked the ladies their thoughts on such a person. Is this cute behavior, but I'm just somehow personally blind to it? Is it just as dreadful as it seemed to me? Or is this type of personality that some women can work with, and use to their advantage in some way?
Here's what they had to say.
Surprisingly, there are some upsides to such a person.
"I find it embarrassing when it's people who clearly don't want to be talked to unless my date is doing it to prevent them from talking to me (i.e. creepers, stalkers, town crazies), then it's cute," says Tamara, 36.
"I mean, that can be a little overwhelming. On the other hand, if your partner can't really hold up their end of the conversation at cocktail parties and events you're out at it with your friends or colleagues, that is, to my mind, much more irritating," says Jennifer, 28.
"I kinda like that person. But if I am going out with him I might get annoyed after a couple of years... but then a lot of things start to get annoying after a while," says Mieko, 37.
But, the majority feels otherwise…
"I prefer to move along from point A to point B without much ado. I can tolerate a bit of conversation but, having to listen to them yammer on at someone that clearly isn't in a chatting mood embarrasses the crap out of me," says Jen, 36.
"Annoying as sh*t," says Kate, 33.
"It's most horrifying. Most, most. Most horrifying," says Amanda, 28.
"This is probably my least favorite type of person. It's really challenging for me to be around someone who enjoys being loud and watching all the time. This is mostly due to the fact that I am pretty introverted and reserved, especially in groups. I also just have trouble understanding how some people think others want to hear/see/talk to them all the time. Picking up on social cues and being intuitive are things that these people typically don't do, which makes them seem inconsiderate and self-indulgent," says Kaitlin, 26.
"Worst thing ever," says Autumn, 25.
"If someone is that invested in attention from others to fulfill his life, there's a much larger issue that needs addressing and I am uninterested in doing so. Next," says Sarah, 35.
"Just chatting up occasional strangers, no big. It can actually be a good thing because it means I don't have to be the one to do it. But bugging people that want to be left alone? Or constantly bringing attention back to themselves? No thanks. I would prefer somebody I date to be into me enough to pay some attention to ME instead of hogging all of it for themselves," says Becky, 30.
Takeaway? Unless you're at a party working a room with conversation AND grace, any loud, over-the-top behavior or chatter, is a major turnoff for most women.
If you want to be the focal point of a party and talk the ear off of strangers, then do it on your birthday. That's the one day a year when you can get away with such stuff.
Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post, and others.