Exactly What To Answer When Someone Asks, 'Why Do You Love Me?'
The reason they're asking probably isn't what you think.
Getty When the person you obviously love asks you why you love them, it can understandably reduce even the most self-assured among us into deer in the headlights as you watch the entire life of your relationship pass before your eyes.
No matter how many cute, sweet and romantic things you find to say to the person you love on a regular basis, when you're hit with one of these humdingers out of the blue, knowing what to say and how to say it can be absolutely mind-boggling.
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Before you get too overwhelmed, take a deep breath and collect yourself.
There's a reason the person you love is asking you why you love them. It's likely they are feeling insecure about your relationship, and, even more likely, that they are feeling deeply insecure about themselves. They may be finding it hard to love themselves, in general or in the moment, and they’re looking to you — the person they trust, love and value above all others — for validation they are worthy of love and they are, indeed, lovable.
How to answer the surprisingly difficult question: "Why do you love me?
Look the person you love in the eye and, if possible, hold them in one of those close hugs that tells a fellow human being they are not alone, that they can count on you, and that you’ve got their back. Then, tell them all the wonderful things you know and feel are lovable about them.
Be honest. You do love this person, so there are bound to be plenty of reasons that naturally come to mind.
- You could talk about the emotional connection you share with them, the way they make you feel, and what they are doing when they make you feel it.
- You could talk about the specific traits, qualities or characteristics they possess that you admire, such as kindness, confidence, strength, resilience, humor, beauty, loyalty, and intelligence.
- You could talk about what your relationship with them adds to your life: fun, passion, happiness, support, comfort, and growth.
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If you're still at a loss for the specific words to say, look to this list of romantic responses you can offer.
Here are 12 specific sweet things to say to your boyfriend or girlfriend when they ask, "Why do you love me?"
1. "I love you because you are you. You’re not like anyone else, and you are brave and strong and willing to be you. That inspires me."
2. "You are like sunshine itself, and I feel better when I’m with you."
3. "I love how I feel when I’m with you."
4. "You accept me for me. I don’t have to hide. You let me be myself, and I thank you for that. It’s amazing to be loved by you."
5. "You make me feel more alive than anyone ever has."
6. "You make me want to be a better person."
7. "You teach me how to be a better partner. You encourage me, support me and let me know how I can best support you."
8. "You complete me. Before I met you, I never felt whole. With you in my life, I am."
9. "I love you for your passion for life. It’s contagious."
10. "You make me feel strong."
11. "I love your heart. The world is better for having you in it. And I’m lucky I get to call you my love."
12. "You and me, we’re just good together."
Now you know why they asked the question, that it's less about why you love them and more about them needing to receive validation that they are lovable, and how to reply in a way that meets that need.
With these 12 sweet phrases, you can strengthen your relationship and be a true source of support for the person you really, truly do love for many, many good reasons.
Susan K. Edwards, L.S.H., is an author, Reiki Master and Energy Healer whose work centers around reminding people that it's all about love.