What It's Like To Have A Truly Optimistic Significant Other
Our differences don't have to be what divides us, they can be what brings us together.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock By Laura Van De Walle
I would love to say that I’m always an optimistic person, that I look at life and always see a glass half full. However, if I said that, I would be lying.
Sometimes, life unwillingly gets the best of me, and I just can’t imagine that everything is going to be okay.
I imagine that I am not alone in this feeling, as negativity is something that happens to the best of us from time to time.
That is why when I started dating someone who unwaveringly sees the very best in every situation, I just about had a stroke.
No matter what kind of problems I face on a daily basis, he finds a way to remind me that life could be much worse. Moreover, he establishes a connection between my problem and a possible way that I can benefit from having faced it.
He somehow finds a way to tell me that the stress I deal with today becomes a vessel of strength for me tomorrow. Not only was this an entirely new experience for me, but it has been an unusual adjustment.
There are days when I don’t want to hear what he has to say simply because I find dwelling within my issue to be the easier alternative.
How can I possibly focus on the strength of tomorrow when I’m so consumed by challenges today? Doesn’t he see how hard this is for me?
This inevitably made me begin to doubt my own positivity, my coping mechanisms, and the overall lens through which I choose to look at life. Am I really so negative?
Somewhere along the way I became the kind of person who found positivity in certain things, and manages to clear negativity in others when and where I can.
I started to feel ashamed of the way I viewed life; how is it okay for me to complain when I have so many wonderful things working in my favor?
My partner began to be this constant reminder of this shame, and I resented him for it. Why couldn’t I be like him? Moreover, why couldn’t he see why I am the way that I am?
Over time, I have learned that being with someone as optimistic as he is, is a gift. While there will be times where we misunderstand each other because of our differences, there will also be times where we need one another.
I need him to tell me that life is beautiful, and that I just have to look a little harder sometimes to find it. He needs me to remind him that being vulnerable is part of life, no matter how difficult it can be to own this part of yourself.
His positivity is so rare, particularly in the world we live in now, how could I give up on something so spectacular?
It took months of questioning myself and confusion about our relationship for me to come to terms with this immense difference between us.
However, I now realize that our differences don’t have to be what divides us, they can be what brings us together.
If even a few more people in the world took on some of his optimism, the world would be a drastically better place.
I refuse to continue to be the person who takes an individual like this for granted.
Laura Van De Walle is a student, writer, and a contributor to Unwritten. She writes primarily on topics of health, self-esteem, and relationships.