The One Thing Couples Should Do Every Single Night For A Better Marriage — Even If You Have Kids
Chances are one of you is already doing this alone.
G-Stock Studio We often hear that it's the little things that matter when it comes to making marriages last — and it’s true!
But there's one little thing, which really involves a whole bunch of little things, that couples should do every single night if they want a stronger marriage: "reset" the house together.
How doing a 90 minute 'house reset' every night can make your marriage stronger
Small tasks that are often overlooked by one partner can make or break a relationship in the long run. It may be hard to believe, but evenly splitting household responsibilities can be the key to keeping your marriage happy and healthy over time.
Constantly having to take on the burden of doing all the chores around the home can have major consequences on a person’s mental and physical health, as well as the overall quality of the marriage.
“Women who take greater responsibility for home admin — especially related to make sure the kids are doing alright — tend to feel more personal strain and are less satisfied with their marriage,” says Jill Suttie, Psy.D. They also experience higher rates of depression and distress.
And there's more. One study found that people who feel they have greater responsibility for household tasks than their partners have higher blood pressure.
So, if we know the unequal distribution of tasks is bad for our partner’s health, what can we do to turn this sinking boat around? Well, to begin, it can be helpful to note that couples who make the bed together stay together.
And who better to attest to this than TikToker Jeannie Mari, who regularly attests to the benefits of the daily 90-minute reset routine she and her husband perform as a team.
In their TikToks, the couple can be seen not only splitting household duties, but enjoying each other's presence while doing so.
Whether it’s cooking or wiping down the mirrors, this couple shares their workload.
Mari emphasizes resetting their home together when the children are sleeping. To them, it helps make their marriage stronger and their life easier.
I admit when I first watched their videos, I was shocked. Growing up, I never witnessed a fair division of household responsibilities. Rather it was always the women in my life who were stuck doing the brunt of the housework.
The TikToks got me wondering if there was some data to back up the benefits of Mari's methods. Sure enough, there is.
Multiple studies have found that "the way couples divide housework appears to matter a great deal ... [and] research finds that sharing housework is optimal for couples’ overall relationship quality."
Experts say couples who work as a team are stronger.
Psychologist Wyatt Fisher notes that teamwork in a marriage “is a feeling of togetherness, mutual support, and unity on multiple fronts, including finances, parenting, chores, [physical intimacy], and emotional intimacy.”
When couples don’t feel like a team, they can have a hard time feeling connected, explains Fisher.
Despite this, a 2023 poll conducted by Pew Research Center found that while "the share of women who earn as much as or significantly more than their husband has roughly tripled over the past 50 years ... the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced."
On average, women contribute 4.6 hours per week to housework, while men only contribute 1.9 hours per week to the same.
How to get your partner on board for doing daily house resets as a team
If you want to balance your household responsibilities, begin by openly communicating your shared expectations, says Jon Spayde, contributing editor at Experience Life.
Next, establish common goals by creating a couple’s to-do list on which you write down the tasks each of you agrees to accomplish throughout the week. For example, X partner does the laundry and dishes Monday and Y partner cleans the bathroom and folds the laundry on Monday.
Finally, Spayde recommends practicing flexibility, understanding and gratitude with your partner.
For your marriage to endure, a foundation of trust and teamwork must be built.
This can begin with something as simple as resetting your household together every single night.
When your partner feels as if they are constantly bearing the brunt of the workload, it can easily strain your relationship — and nobody wants that.
By incorporating these small but impactful steps into your routine, your relationship can transform into a harmonious union make stronger and stronger through teamwork.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.