If You Want To Find Your Soulmate, You Must Get Serious About These 11 Things
It's time to get ready for true love.
LOOK | Canva "How much longer do I have to wait for my soulmate?" This is the biggest complaint I hear from so many single men and women. They tell me that they are tired of waiting, wishing, hoping, and yearning for the day "The One" will arrive.
While I believe (and know) that we can consciously manifest the love of our life into our lives — I’ve done it, as have thousands of my students around the world — we don’t get to choose the speed at which it all comes together. So, while I can’t tell you when your soulmate will show up, here’s what I know for sure: Finding true love is possible for anyone at any age.
If you want to find your soulmate, you must get serious about these 11 things:
1. The belief that will it happen
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This wonderful Universe of ours is set up to deliver the people and things to us that are consistent with our beliefs. If you don’t believe you will ever find The One, then guess what … you probably won’t.
So, believing and knowing that your soulmate is out there is the most important part of the formula. If you learn to believe that the one is not only out there but is also working for you, then true love can be yours.
According to psychology, believing in a "soulmate" can be detrimental to healthy relationships because it often leads to unrealistic expectations of perfection. This makes it harder to navigate conflict and potentially causes people to give up on relationships too easily when challenges arise.
2. Falling in love with yourself first
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Know that you are lovable. Find ways each day to nourish yourself with love, appreciation, positive thoughts, and tenderness. Care for yourself as if you are the most important person in the world. You deserve your love and affection.
When you fall in love with yourself, the whole world mirrors that love back to you. Oscar Wilde said it best: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
When we truly love and respect ourselves, we’re free from doubt and endless worry, so we trust our feelings and decisions. It allows us to be courageous and authentic. We begin to live from the heart and play a bigger, kinder, more generous version of life.
3. Clearing space in you rlife
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Eliminating physical clutter from your life is one of the fastest ways to increase the inflow of new positive energy. At the same time, you also want to create physical space for your soon-to-arrive beloved. Make sure to clear some space in your closet and keep the nightstand on your soulmate’s side of the bed empty, so that when they arrive, they can fill it with their items.
Remember the old saying, "Nature abhors a vacuum"? It applies here. Create space so the Universe can deliver your soulmate into a home that welcomes them (even if you never plan to have your soulmate live with you in your space, it’s essential to do this).
4. Forgiving past hurts
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Past hurts will prevent you from magnetizing big love. You may not realize it, but resenting or not forgiving people binds you to them. Make a list of the ex-lovers with whom you are still harboring grudges or resentment.
Write each one a detailed letter expressing your upset. Permit yourself to go full out, as you will never mail these letters. Then, write a second letter — this time from your ex-lover’s point of view.
Then read all the letters out loud to yourself to allow any remaining animosity to dissipate. When we heal the scars of our past, we open the door to a more fulfilling future.
5. Visualizing your soulmate
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Write a list of the most important qualities your soulmate will possess. Then take your list and create a "vision map," a collage that becomes a visual representation of your romantic future.
It works! We know of one forty-something single man who quickly manifested his soulmate this way. After he created his vision map, he took a photograph of it and made it the wallpaper on his laptop and his cell phone. Dozens of times each day he focused on his "vision" and, voila, within a few months, he met the love of his life.
6. Continuing to express love
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Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life. The Universe is always mirroring that loving sentiment back to us. The more you feel loved, the more you magnetically attract love.
7. Living your truth
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Live in the "knowingness" that you are in a loving, committed relationship. Big love is possible for anyone of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love. Do this by "Living as if", which means that your actions follow your beliefs.
For instance, you might buy birthday or "I Love You Just Because" greeting cards that you will give them someday. Or, you can get tickets to concerts or plays you will attend with them. And, if you are really in the "knowingness," you will begin talking to them (in your imagination) every day.
8. Creating an altar in the 'relationship corner' of your home
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According to Feng Shui experts, the far right corner of your bedroom [how do you know which is the far right corner? Is it the far right corner when you’re standing in the doorway and looking into the room?] is considered the relationship area. To enliven this space, create a sacred altar. [Does this have to be a separate piece of furniture?]
Items to place on the altar can include fresh flowers, a pair of pink or red candles, a pair of small swans or other animals that mate for life, and romantic photographs, icons, or statues that represent to you the image of love and family. You may also want to hang your "vision map" above your altar. Find time each day to spend a few minutes sitting in front of your altar, saying a prayer of gratitude for your beloved’s swift arrival.
9. Listening to your intuition
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It’s important to be on the lookout for synchronistic signs from the Universe or inspiring invitations that come out of the blue which may lead you to your soulmate. Take action when these kinds of opportunities present themselves.
This can also mean joining an online dating service, enrolling in a scuba diving course, or simply sharing with trusted friends your desire to meet the love of your life.
Gut instincts about love can be strong but wrong. Learning how to eliminate what's blocking your intuition from being accurate is essential.
10. Imagining your soulmate
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Before meeting Brian 10 years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I would light several candles at sunset, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants, and sit in my big, cozy chair. With my eyes closed, I would drop into the feelings of having my soulmate in my life.
I would experience those wonderful feelings in every part of my body, knowing that he was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late did cross my mind, but I would just let those thoughts go and get back into a state of grace, feeling, and knowing that his arrival was assured.
11. Savoring the wait
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For those who are running out of patience, please remember this: You can choose to allow yourself to feel desperate and alone, or you can choose to feel happy and blessed.
One way to adopt the "happy and blessed" mindset is to understand the ancient Japanese aesthetic known as wabi-sabi which honors all things old, worn, weathered, imperfect, and impermanent. It seeks to find "beauty and perfection in the imperfections."
Rather than "enduring" the wait — and the perceived imperfection of being single — you can adopt a wabi-sabi perspective and enjoy your last days of being single. You can relish the journey and joyfully anticipate your soulmate’s arrival. One of the best ways to "savor the wait" is to take yourself out on "special dates" doing things that most nourish and nurture YOU!
Think of it this way: when the seeds of a flower have been planted in the ground and the first leaves begin to sprout, the gardener does not tug on the leaves every day to make the plant grow fast. He trusts that Mother Nature will play her role and then, when the time is right, the flower will blossom. Like a gardener, you planted a seed and invited love to unfold in your life.
Savoring is a way to be fully present and immerse yourself in an experience. It can help you discover pleasures you might otherwise miss in your life.
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of 10 books including the international bestseller, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.