6 Healthy Habits Of Couples Who Have Zero Drama, According To Psychology
If your relationship is a healthy one, it should be drama-free.
EmirMemedovski | Canva If you're constantly worried that another woman will take off with your guy or that his late nights "at the office" mean he's up to no good, then your relationship has indeed entered rocky territory.
"People feel jealous because they're afraid, insecure, threatened, or scared to lose someone they love," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based relationship expert/ A confident, well-adjusted person in a healthy partnership should rarely have a reason to get super jealous or suspicious. In short, if your relationship is a good one, you should be able to say, "I trust him"— and mean it.
Here are 6 healthy habits of couples who have zero drama:
1. Neither of you gets upset when one of you dances or flirts with other people
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You have no problem sharing him on the dance floor at a wedding. You love watching him bust a move with others — it makes you smile.
"Flirting is a natural behavior that's about generating energy," says Dr. Greer, author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. "It doesn't bother you because you both know you're still into each other and find the other desirable." Besides, you know that at the end of the night, he's going home with you.
2. You both have friends of the opposite gender, and neither of you feels weird about it
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You might give a male friend a ride to the airport, and your partner might help a female friend hang some pictures in her apartment. And guess what? It doesn't cause an argument.
"You completely trust him and know he's doing this favor because he cares about a friend or vice versa," says Greer. "You see it as a gesture of love and caring, rather than a threat of your partner being alone with someone else." One study from California State University even shows that other couples think it's healthy, as long as there is trust and boundaries.
3. When people tell you how attractive your partner is, you feel flattered and happy
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None of those "Back off, he's my man!" thoughts pop into your head. Instead, you feel proud of your guy's good looks and are glad that people notice he's handsome. "You know how attractive he is," says Dr. Greer. "And he's all yours." You're secure in your relationship, and that's a sign of a committed, healthy relationship, research confirms.
4. You don't freak out when he talks about his celebrity hall pass
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This is a big one. It takes a very strong, confident person to hear his or her partner call someone else attractive. Research from The National Libary of Medicine shows that men find confident women very attractive, so it's a win-win for you. "It means they have a solid foundation of trust within the relationship," says Dr. Greer. "You understand that your partner's words are not expressions of a desire to be intimate with someone else, and you feel safe and secure in that knowledge."
5. You aren't always joined at the hip
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Just because you don't constantly run in the same circles doesn't mean you aren't completely committed. Spending lots of time together is great, but so is doing your own thing from time to time.
You understand that your partner sometimes goes out with his friends without you, and you do the same. And when you're apart, you don't spend all night texting and worrying about where he is and who he might have run into. "You're secure in your partner's love and desire for you, so you're not threatened by any other woman who may come along," says Dr. Greer.
6. You don't text every minute of every day
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We all know those couples. The ones who have to constantly check in with the other, or who always have to Facetime each other good night, even though you're on an all-girls glamping trip.
You and your partner aren't like this at all. You know he can get pretty busy at work, and he knows you can zone in on a new book when you feel like it. It's not unheard of for you guys to go hours without a text back, and it just shows how much strength and trust is in your relationship.
Amy Schlinger is a health and fitness writer and editor based in New York City whose work has appeared in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, The New York Post, Self, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and more.