The Truth Is Guys Stalk Social Media As Much As Girls Do
Guys are just like girls. We want to know what we're working with.
Getty Images via Canva By Howard Rudnick
I have been writing about the benefits and downfalls of social media for years and how our generation has become the generation of oversharing.
We’re obsessed with making sure our friends, or what we now call them, followers, know our every last step. There are a plethora of memes destroying my peer group for our overindulgence in social media. Frankly, it’s quite embarrassing at this point.
There is a silver lining in our dependence on social media, however.
It comes in handy when we are doing research on our potential dates or hookups. Plus, it also helps us learn new methods to uncover information online about ourselves that we may not want out for public consumption as well.
While I will say that most girls in their 20s like to keep portions of their social media accounts private (which literally baffles me) chances are we know someone who knows someone who can get us the scoop on what we want to know.
If you know what you’re looking for, you’ll know how to get around privacy barriers or means to keep your information hidden.
Guys are just like girls. We want to know what we’re working with. We want to know whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. We want to know if you’re a complete loser who only posts selfies with your cats, or if you’re a wild party animal who has Lindsay Lohan tendencies.
We stalk you on social media to see whether or not you’re self-centered.
You can tell if someone is self-centered in three easy steps:
- How many selfies in a row do they have on their IG account?
- Do they only post flattering photos of themselves and everyone else looks horrendous?
- Are all of the photos heavily edited and curated to the point you’re wondering if this person is truly real?
Once you get past that brief test, and you’re still interested even if the results are not great, best of luck to you.
Now, on most dating apps, they allow you to link your Instagram account to your dating profile. I actually think that is a smart idea, because not only does that mean the person is not hiding anything (if they choose to enable that feature), it also shows that the photos they chose for their dating profile photos are highlights of themselves.
For instance, most of my dating profile photos are of me from my trip to Australia. I want people to find me fascinating and let that sense of intrigue set in.
Furthermore, when someone enables the social media sharing permission on the dating app, it also allows you to free lurk them, without having to feel guilty or creepy if you had to look them up outside of the app.
I think the biggest reason why guys stalk on social media is to make sure that they’re not being catfished. Someone had to drop that truth bomb.
Anything is possible and, quite frankly, we need to know if the person we’re talking to or interested isn’t some fake bot that was set up in Russia to deceive us.
Other reasons we stalk on social media:
- Checking to see what the friend group looks like
- If the person is active and not constantly only posting throwbacks from years ago
- They look good
- Learn more about them because their dating profile is blank or empty
- Find any dirt that would make you wave a red flag or tell your friends to avoid like the black plague
- To be a genuine stalker
There is no shame in being a “social media stalker” as long as you keep your stalking to yourself in the privacy of your own home and don’t enter the “creepy” and “real life stalker” mode.
Basically, don’t lose touch with reality and you should be fine.
Howard Rudnick is a former contributing author to Unwritten and podcast host of Rudnick Rants.