5 Traits Of Couples Who Still Hold Hands At The Grocery Store, According To Psychology
Holding hands isn't just sweet, it's a sign of a truly loving partnership.
Cleyton Ewerton | Unsplash When you do something nice for your partner, it’s like making a “deposit” into their Love Bank Account. When something negative happens in the relationship, you are making a “withdrawal” from the account. You get the idea. One of those deposits is holding hands — bonus if it's in a public place.
It’s the small things we do daily in a relationship that truly make a difference in strengthening our connection and bond with one another. When you are making deposits every day in the “Love” account, it is almost like having an insurance policy for a fail-proof relationship that stands the test of time.
Here are the traits of couples who still hold hands at the grocery store:
1. They serve one another in small ways
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One of our morning rituals is making the bed and having coffee together. One of us makes the coffee and the other will make the bed. Sometimes we make the bed together.
Small gestures of serving one another make a huge impact on your affinity for one another. Giving cards and handwritten notes is another way to show your love for one another.
2. They celebrate their love
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We celebrate the anniversary of the day we met every month. We acknowledge the commitment to our relationship in various ways, but always on the 14th of every month.
Even if we are apart, we will send a note in the mail, flowers, or a small gift recognizing our special day. We usually go out to dinner or have a romantic dinner at home.
Research published by Florida International University explained that couples who frequently celebrate each other's successes and joys, big and small, experience stronger, more fulfilling relationships. This is because celebrating together reinforces the sense of connection, reinforces relationship investment, and helps cultivate empathetic joy.
3. They speak their partner's love language
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In Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, he shares how we can improve our relationships by discovering our love language and using that to connect to others. Take the test with your partner to discover your love languages.
If you do not have the same love language, we recommend getting the book to learn how to speak your partner's love language fluently. Be sure to do one thing a day that speaks to your partner’s primary love language.
For instance, if your partner's love language is physical touch: Frequent and positive physical touch between couples strengthens relationships, boosts well-being, and fosters a sense of connection and safety. Researchers at The Gottman Institute explained that this could include simple acts like hugging, holding hands, and cuddling, essential for intimacy, managing stress, and fostering emotional bonding.
4. They spiritually connnect
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We highly recommend having and deepening a spiritual connection with one another so that you continue to grow together. This is something for you to define as a couple based on your spiritual beliefs.
For us, part of our spiritual practice is going to Unity Church, which honors all pathways to God or Spirit with an emphasis on inspiring people to live better lives. My husband, Marty, gave me The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo, which is filled with daily messages that he reads to me every morning. Every night we go to sleep listening to meditation.
We’ve deepened our spiritual practice in smaller but just as meaningful ways too. This includes smudging our home and ourselves regularly with white sage to clear any negative energy. We also love Affirmation and Angel Cards. We have numerous sets of them that we’ll randomly choose to pick a card for the day or use it to ask for guidance and clarity in various situations.
5. They greet each other
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When Marty and I first moved in together, we both noticed a difference in how we greeted each other. One day when I returned home he was in the kitchen and I immediately went into my office to work. I didn’t even say hello.
Before moving in together, that never would have happened. We were always so excited to see one another that we greeted each other with a passionate embrace and kiss. When we said goodbye, the same would occur as if we might never see each other again.
So now we are very aware of this and make a conscious effort to give each other a heartfelt welcome and a see-you-later kiss.
Research by John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, emphasizes the importance of positive interactions in healthy relationships. Warm greetings can be seen as a positive exchange, contributing to the 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio that Gottman found in stable and happy couples.
What would your relationship look like if you were to implement a few (or all) of these things into your relationship? Do you think your “Love” account would be overflowing with more deposits or depleted from too many withdrawals? We know the former will win out every time and hope your Love Account is vibrant and prosperous!
Dana Lam and Martin Kupper are authors and co-founders of the Surprise Date Challenge. They are passionate about making an impact in people’s lives and helping couples be the happiest couple they know.
