17 Tiny Signs You May Have Romantic Feelings For A "Platonic Friend"
This friendship may not be so platonic.
yacobchuk | Canva Can men and women just be friends? Most people agree that they can, with the help of clear boundaries. But when does an opposite-gender friendship cross the line? All relationships, whether romantic or friendly, are based upon some form of attraction. It's not always physical. However, there's some mutual interest or commonality that draws two people towards one another. While opposite-gender friendships may start with the best of intentions, often the lines become blurred as the relationship develops. There are some red flags to look out for that show you're either in a danger zone or have already crossed the line into more than just friendship with your "friend."
Here are 17 signs you may have romantic feelings for a "platonic friend:"
1. You can't wait to share conversations with your friend
You're usually good at keeping secrets, except the part where you tell your "friend" everything that you hear.
2. You discuss your relationship problems with them and it's a form of criticism toward your partner
It's one thing to be annoyed with your partner, but to talk bad about them behind their back is completely different.
3. Your friend discusses his/her relationship problems with you
You're both just complaining about your relationships to each other, and potentially emotionally cheating.
4. You look forward to seeing your friend more than your own partner
The average couple engages in approximately five minutes of quality conversation per day, whereas you're double that with your "friend."
5. You start making comparisons between your partner and your friend
6. You offer more compassion and concern to your friend than your partner
7. You fantasize about what life is like with your friend
8. You spend more alone time with your friend than with your partner
9. Your partner has absolutely no access to your conversations with your friend
You hide your voicemails, texts, emails, social media, etc.
10. You secretly spend money on your friend without your partner's knowledge
11. Your friend is a source of argument and discord with your partner
Your partner is aware of how close your friendship is, and it causes a strain on your relationship.
12. You lie and secretly figure out ways to spend time with your friend
You leave early, or stay late at a party you know they'll be at, or just happen to see them at their job.
13. You accuse your partner of jealousy every time your friend is discussed
You secretly know they have every right to be jealous.
14. You create exclusive rituals with your friend that you both highly anticipate
15. You share feelings and intimate conversations with your friend, which creates an emotional connection
16. You engage in intimate conversation with your friend
You're flirting with someone who isn't your partner.
17. You frequent social places and events without your partner, hoping to run into your friend
Where do you stand on opposite-gender friendships? Whatever your answer is, make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page. Remember, that's the most important relationship of all.
Hasani and Danielle Pettiford are life coaches and the co-founders of Couples Academy, a private practice committed to placing couples on the path to fulfillment.