The 3 Basic Needs Each Wife Requires From Her Husband In Order For A Marriage To Work
A successful marriage requires more than just love.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock There are a lot of components that must go into a marriage to make it lasting and meaningful. Contrary to popular belief, it takes more than just love.
A marriage expert who goes by the username @intentionallymarr on TikTok took to the platform to share three vital things a husband must provide for his wife — or any partner should provide for the one they love — for her to truly feel secure in their marriage. Without these three crucial things, their relationship does not stand a chance.
Here are the 3 basic needs a wife requires from her husband in order for marriage to work:
1. She needs to be seen
This is more than just a husband noticing that his wife looks attractive in a new outfit. A woman needs to not only be physically seen by the one she loves but also feel accepted for who she is, have her efforts noticed, and have her struggles validated.
This goes far beyond surface-level interactions and involves deep emotional connection, empathy, and validation from one's partner. It means both partners actively acknowledging and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
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For example, suppose a woman comes home from a difficult day of work and expresses frustration and stress. In that case, her husband is seeing her by offering support, listening attentively, and validating her emotions rather than brushing them off.
"Being seen creates a strong emotional connection between partners. It allows you to share your innermost thoughts and feelings, creating a safe and supportive environment for vulnerability,” Therapist Israa Nasir told the Hindustan Times.
“Feeling seen is essential for the development of emotional and physical intimacy," she continued. "It's the basis for a fulfilling and passionate connection, as it allows you to share your true selves with one another.”
2. She needs to be heard
Similar to being seen, a husband needs to do more than just passively listen to his wife.
To be "heard" in a relationship means that one's thoughts, feelings, and concerns are actively listened to and understood by their partner. It involves more than just the physical act of hearing words; it encompasses genuinely comprehending and empathizing with the emotional content behind them.
When someone does not feel heard by their partner, it can lead to more arguments, resentment, bitterness, and isolation.
To truly hear your partner, it is important to practice active listening. Focus on what your partner is saying without interrupting or formulating your response while they speak. Show genuine interest by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using verbal affirmations like "I see" or "I understand."
Empathize with their experience. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to understand their point of view. One cannot truly hear someone out if they do not even attempt to understand their perspective.
3. She needs to feel safe
Feeling safe doesn’t necessarily mean having a bodyguard of a husband holding onto your arm and protecting you each time you step outside. In relationships, there are various ways to make your partner feel safe other than just physical protection.
For one, you can be consistent and reliable. Follow through on your promises, and be there for your partner when they need you. Consistency builds trust and reassures your partner that they can rely on you.
Be patient and respectful in your interactions with your partner, especially during difficult moments. Avoid rushing or pressuring them to open up, and give them the time and space they need to process their emotions.
Respecting your partner’s boundaries will allow them to feel safe with you. Honor their need for autonomy and independence, and avoid pressuring them into situations or conversations that they're not comfortable with.
When one feels safe and at ease with their partner in a relationship, it fosters emotional connection, intimacy, and constructive communication.
According to PsychCentral, emotional safety is the foundation of a loving and healthy relationship. It creates a nurturing and supportive environment where partners can thrive emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
It is never too late for a husband to make his wife feel seen, heard, and safe. They can start by offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and steadiness to lean on.
As the marriage expert put it, “You can take her out on expensive vacations, you can earn all the money in the world, and you can have the body of a Greek god. But if she doesn’t feel seen, heard and safe, you’ll only have a small piece of her."
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.