10 'Husband Blueprints' Women Actually Care About When Choosing A Spouse, According To Research
What women actually look for in a life partner
Artur Tumasjan | Unsplash While there are certain things men want in a woman they’re going to marry, women are equally as curious about finding a guy who is husband material. Sometimes, we forget that it’s a two-way street.
Just as men have their preferences, women have things they tend to notice when deciding who to settle down with. There’s the kind of man you date, and the kind of man you marry. Most guys automatically assume they know what a woman wants in a man.
Unfortunately, they tend to assume incorrectly about how women choose a husband. But it's time to learn the cold, hard truth about why women marry some guys and why they don’t choose others.
Here are 10 'husband blueprints' women actually care about when choosing a spouse, according to research:
1. A man’s career means a lot, but it’s not just about the money
Here’s the truth: men with promising careers are way more likely to be marriage material than men who are lazy bums. Why? Because there will be less stress from financial issues.
Additionally, having a good career shows that a man has drive and ambition, and won’t just have other interests and passions in a long-term relationship. Surprise, guys — it isn’t all about the money you make! It's all about the attitude you possess.
2. A guy's overall life plan is important
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Wise women will not marry a man who wants something entirely different in life. And that can be whether or not he wants kids, the kind of career he desires, and where he sees himself 10 years later.
That being said, some women will try to convince guys to change and rethink their choices, but it rarely works out well for anyone involved.
When women attempt to influence men to alter their life plans, outcomes can vary depending on the specific dynamics and the individuals involved, with potential consequences ranging from positive relationship growth to conflict and strain. A 2010 study explained that if a woman attempts to control her partner's life choices, it can create a power imbalance and lead to dissatisfaction and a feeling of being manipulated.
3. A man's personality should be compatible with hers
There are a lot of guys, and I do mean a lot, who end up staying single or categorized as “hookup only” because their personality isn't great. That means he really has no redeeming qualities that make a woman want to settle down with him.
Suppose you’re a guy who wants a long-term relationship ending in marriage, and you already have a promising career and look decent. In that case, chances are high that you’re single due to your personality or a lack of effort put into finding “the one.”
4. Emotional stability is key
There’s a reason why guys with a reputation for instability do not tend to work out well in relationships. No one wants to deal with constant drama and messiness, and women crave stability and security.
If a guy has rage issues, most women will steer clear of him, especially during those first few dates.
Women prioritizing emotional stability in a future spouse can have more substantial, more satisfying relationships, potentially fostering better psychological well-being and marital satisfaction. Scholars have found that people who intend to promote stable relationships value emotional suppression more to achieve interpersonal harmony.
5. To a woman, a guy has to be presentable
It’s not only guys who tend to choose a wife based on whether "she looks like she could be taken home to mother," you know. It's about how he presents to the people who matter most in her life, like her family and friends.
There have been many cases in which women would date, but not marry, men because they knew parents or friends would disapprove of them.
6. Attitude and character are important
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No one likes a Debbie Downer. It’s exhausting to deal with a guy who’s constantly mopey, angry, or bitter. Similarly, most women want someone they can depend on, and someone who has an honest character.
That’s why more happy-go-lucky men tend to get more ladies, even if their looks aren’t as good as others. This is also why immature attitudes don’t tend to be considered “marriage material” by most women.
Women often value certain attitudes and qualities in a partner, with kindness, intelligence, and supportiveness consistently ranked high, alongside traits like confidence and a good sense of humor. Research indicates that men and women may prioritize certain traits differently, with women often valuing qualities like maturity and dependability, while men may prioritize physical attractiveness.
7. Good health is a deciding factor in being marriage material
Many things that women notice when choosing a husband boil down to how healthy a man is, on both an emotional and physical level. That’s a great thing, since sickness tends to be a significant stressor in relationships.
8. Good looks are significant, but they’re not as important as most think
Yes, a lot of women want a good-looking man. You know why? Because attraction does matter.
After all, if you’re not attracted to your spouse, you will probably be in for a bad time. And nobody wants to be in a relationship where they aren't physically attracted to their partner.
Research suggests that in long-term relationships, qualities like warmth, intelligence, and income may become more important than physical attractiveness, which might be more relevant in the initial stages of dating. It's important to note that self-reported preferences may not always align with real-world dating decisions. People may lack introspective awareness of what influences their judgments and behavior.
9. Many women want a husband who’s handy with chores
No one wants to marry a guy who can’t clean up after himself or, at the least, pitch in and help with chores. That’s gross, and it ends up making marriage sound more like a 40-year-long chore than anything else.
A relationship is 50/50, and that means working to keep your living space as clean as possible.
10. Women want a man who actually loves them.
Unsurprisingly, the most significant aspect people consider when looking to marry someone is love. After all, marriage is an institution that’s become synonymous with it, and that’s why it’s the most important thing women look for in a future husband!
Research suggests women prioritize emotional connection, open communication, and feeling valued and cherished in their relationships. The Gottman Institute research indicates that women desire to know what their husbands think about them because it signifies a deep emotional connection, provides a sense of security and validation, and is crucial for feeling valued and cherished.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey, whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Medium, New Theory Magazine, and others.