6 Things The Most Confident People Never Forget To Do On A First Date, According To Psychology
How to exude sheer confidence on a first date.
djiledesign | Canva Being a woman with confidence in today’s day and age has some downsides, unfortunately. Especially in terms of our social lives. People often get the impression that when we have confidence then we are too good for them, that we are extremely driven and too proud of our accomplishments.
Moreover, they assume that we need constant validation and attention. That isn’t the case. However, a lot of women fear it in other women, and boys, in particular, are threatened by it on dates because they fear being emasculated. Nevertheless, the thing we forget is that confidence gives you an extra bit of edge in the dating scene — and these are the things the most confident people never forget to do on a first date.
Here are the things the most confident people never forget to do on a first date:
1. Give themselves time to get ready
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Right before the date, give yourself extra time to get ready to ensure you look your best. You’re already nervous enough, so why not give yourself those extra minutes for touch-ups or outfit changes?
While you’re at it, take some good selfies. Regardless, you’ll feel really good about yourself and won’t be regretting or second-guess your appearance.
2. Wear something that feels good
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There is nothing worse than wearing something that’s super uncomfortable or tight to the point it makes you worry about every fat roll you think you have.
So, wear something that’ll accentuate your curves, flatter your body type, and make you feel happy and confident! Wearing something that feels good on a first date is psychologically beneficial because it boosts confidence.
A study published in Evolutionary Psychology revealed that this allows you to project a more positive self-image and feel relaxed and comfortable during the interaction. This leads to a more positive first impression and greater openness to connecting with your date. Enclothed cognition is a psychological concept suggesting that our clothes can influence how we feel about ourselves. If you wear something that makes you feel good, it can positively impact your mood and self-esteem.
3. Place the attention on the other person
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Not only does directing some attention toward your date make you seem humble, but it also makes you seem interested in getting to know them better.
Moreover, confident people aren’t afraid to start a conversation, so feel free to ask them some unique questions and get the convo flowing.
Remember: The more you can make someone feel heard and understood, the more connected they will feel to you.
4. Be themselves
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You can only hide so much of yourself on the first date and through the early stages of a relationship. Hence, make sure you know how to be yourself in a world that makes you feel like you shouldn’t.
Order that burger instead of a salad. Speak up if you don’t feel comfortable. Express what you wish to. Just don’t change based on who you are around; they can tell when you’re being someone you aren’t.
Being yourself on a first date means presenting your authentic personality without excessive self-conscious filtering. This allows for a genuine connection with your date based on who you are, which can lead to a more meaningful and lasting relationship if compatibility exists.
However, a study published by Frontiers in Psychology concluded that it's crucial to maintain a positive and respectful demeanor while still staying true to your core self.
5. Use positive body language
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Your non-verbals speak louder than words. Don't fold your arms if you’re interested in what your date’s saying. Tilt your head toward them and lean in.
One more first-date tip: Put your phone away and challenge yourself not to look at it unless you have to. It’s not fun to be on a date with someone who is staring at their phone or constantly checking messages, and it’s not respectful to do that, either.
6. Laugh it off
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If anything morbidly embarrassing happens during your date, just laugh it off. No matter how hard you want to cry from embarrassment.
Conversely, if the date goes horribly and you feel like giving up dating altogether, go home and watch a funny movie. Thus, your night will end on a high note. Moreover, this way you won’t lose any confidence.
Also, you won’t have hard feelings about going on dates the next time an opportunity arises. You can skillfully navigate your way through any date with the right amount of confidence in the areas that need it the most.
This is often a psychological strategy to diffuse awkwardness, appear relaxed, and signal positive social cues like approachability and a sense of humor. This strategy can increase attraction by creating a lighthearted and comfortable atmosphere.
Research published by Arizona State University found that not every awkward moment requires laughter; sometimes, a simple apology or explanation might be more appropriate depending on the situation and the other person's reaction.
Your personality and interests will do the rest of the hard work for you. Just relax.
Give yourself time and enjoy it for what it is (even if you’re so nervous that you want to crawl under the table and hide for the remainder of the date). These small tips will give you the confidence boost you need and will be key in future dates to come.
Brittany Christopoulos is a broadcast journalist, fill-in co-host, TV/Radio reporter, digital journalist, and senior writer and head of trending news at Unwritten.