8 Things Men Do If Someone's Just A Fling
If these signs sound familiar, you're likely only temporary in a man's life.
Pexels | Canva When you're dating or talking to a guy, there's something you need to know: By the time they've seen you twice, most men already know whether they see you as a fling, a "dirty little secret," or a potential long-term partner.
Once they've decided where you stand, they'll treat you accordingly. If you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you, he will never do any of these things. If he does, well, sadly you're just a fling to him — but it's better that you now know.
Here are the things men do if someone's just a fling:
1. Doesn't text you regularly
Here's the fact: guys only ghost girls they don't care about. Moreover, guys who view you as long-term won't suddenly "go dark" for days.
And they also won't only text you when they're d. Guys who see you as long-term relationship material will always be texting you and hitting you up, regardless of how busy their day is.
2. Won't introduce you to his friends
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Guys who are serious about a girl will introduce her to friends and family. They will be proud to be seen with her and will do what they can to make sure she's part of their circle. If you're a fling, they're going to keep you in the background and make sure you don't meet too many people.
If your partner avoids introducing you to their friends, it could be a sign of insecurity, a fear of commitment, potential dishonesty about the relationship, or simply a desire to keep the relationship private in the early stages.
However, a 2019 study explained that it's often considered a red flag and could indicate a practice called pocketing, where they might be hiding aspects of their life from you. The best approach is openly communicating with your partner to understand their reasons.
3. Won't take you on proper dates
Restaurant date? Pfft. Forget about it. Ice skating date? Nope. The only date flings usually will get are Netflix dates... and maybe, if they're lucky, a date at a nightclub.
4. Won't try to broach subjects related to relationships
If a guy is very serious about you, he'll ask what you want in a future spouse or talk about kids within a year. If he's serious, he also will try to talk about giving you the "girlfriend" label. If he's seeing you as a fling, he will be silent about this stuff.
A man who consistently avoids discussing relationship-related topics with you likely indicates a lack of seriousness in his intentions. A study in Frontiers in Psychology revealed that he is either hesitant about commitment, not ready to deepen the connection or actively trying to avoid addressing potential issues that could arise in a serious partnership.
5. Doesn't want to be exclusive with you
A serious guy will be begging for exclusivity, make no mistake about it. They won't beat around the bush. They will ask for it. If they are making no effort to be exclusive, you need to move on. He's saying everything you need to know.
6. Won't have really deep conversations with you
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When you're a fling, they'll gossip or maybe talk about movies, but that's about it. The conversations won't be about major things in your life. When you're a fling, guys don't talk about things that get them emotionally attached.
A man consistently avoiding deep conversations with you can indicate that he is not seriously invested in the relationship. A 2023 study published in the European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology, and Education concluded that meaningful connection often requires vulnerability and sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which many people hesitate to do unless they firmly commit to the other person.
A lack of deep conversations can signal a lack of emotional intimacy and a desire to maintain distance.
7. Isn't reliable
Men who are very serious about a girl will be as reliable as a Swiss watch. You can count on a man who's into you for everything. But if he sees you as a fling, he'll become the most irresponsible human being on the planet. If you can't rely on him, he's saying you're not his "One."
8. Never tell you he loves you
Once the L-bomb is dropped, you can't undrop it. It means that he's legit caught feelings and that he's emotional about you. If you're just a fling, he probably won't say that.
A man who consistently avoids saying "I love you" to you, even when the relationship seems established, can be interpreted as a sign that he is not as serious about you as he could be. A 2023 study found this could indicate a lack of emotional commitment or a hesitation to invest in the relationship entirely.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.