5 Simple Things A Man Will Do When He's Fallen Deeply In Love, Backed By Psychology
How to know he genuinely loves you and is in it for the long-haul.
Mason Wikes | Unsplash When you're in love, it is a wonderful feeling. If you don’t have it, you want it. But we need to be careful with our feelings.
Sometimes they play tricks on us. Especially when intimacy comes into the equation. It’s easy to get carried away. We’ve all made that mistake of trusting that what we feel is love — when it turns out that all a man wants is our body, confusing the signs of true love with simple lust.
You've learned from the past, and now that you know the simple things men do when they've fallen deeply in love, you can tell if he's really in it for the long haul.
Here are the simple things a man will do when he's fallen deeply in love:
1. He shows affection, even when he knows it won’t lead to anything
If the person you are seeing touches you without initiating anything intimate, it likely means he likes you and enjoys spending time with you. You can experience an emotional connection by touching or holding hands, also known as loving touch.
Whether it’s done privately or publicly, it’s done in a way that is gentle and warm. Loving touch respects boundaries and is done in a way that is comfortable for both parties.
2. He engages in deep and interesting conversations
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Do you enjoy talking together about a wide variety of topics? Does he take an interest in you by asking you questions about yourself and your life? Does he want to know the details as well?
Does he give you the details of his life with little to no prompting? This doesn’t mean he takes over the conversation.
Does he know your favorite food or vacation spot? Does he remember the conversations you’ve had? You can tell when he does because he won’t always ask the same questions.
Do you feel he has a loving curiosity about you? If it’s just lust, he will not invest much time in conversations. And usually, he will just blatantly ask for just physical contact. Engaging in profound and interesting conversations is often seen as a strong indicator that he is falling in love.
Research published by Boston University found that it signifies a desire for emotional connection, vulnerability, and a genuine interest in getting to know the other person more profoundly, which are key components of building a strong romantic bond. Not everyone expresses love similarly, and some people might naturally gravitate toward deeper conversations without necessarily being romantically interested.
3. He talks about the future with you
Does he make plans to go to a concert next month with you? Is “we” starting to replace “I?" If the answer is yes, this is a good sign of true love and not just lust.
When you are committed to your partner, you are comfortable talking about next month, the holidays, or next year. This doesn’t guarantee what will happen five-10 years down the road or that the relationship will last forever. But I would stay in it to find out.
When a man frequently talks about the future with you, it signifies a strong potential sign of him falling in love. Research published by Georgetown University explained that it indicates a desire to integrate you into his life vision, which means a deep commitment and investment in the relationship. Some people may naturally discuss plans early in a relationship without necessarily indicating deep love, so observing other behaviors and signals is important.
4. He introduces you to his friends and family
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When the person you are seeing introduces you to the people that are most important to him, it’s a good indicator it’s not just a casual fling. You don’t have to wait for him to do it first.
It’s alright to take the bull by the horns and do it. Either way, this will let him know you are serious. If he’s not, then he will probably run away.
If he is, he will want to meet them and might even try to reciprocate and introduce you to his loved ones. Try to do this in a relaxed setting, like a small party. This way, the focus of attention will not be on you and him and it won't be too overwhelming.
Introducing someone to your friends and family is often seen as a significant sign of commitment and potential love because it indicates a desire to integrate them into your established social network.
2020 research found that you value their opinion and see them as potential long-term partners, thus indicating a deeper level of connection and trust beyond casual dating. The timing of the introduction is essential; introducing someone early in the relationship may hold more weight than doing so after a significant period.
5. He has a good foundational friendship with you
A good friendship is the foundation of a good relationship. This will help with everything, including intimacy.
When you have a good friendship, you want to be with your partner. A good friend will help get you through difficult times. It’s also a good indicator he wants to grow old with you.
You are also able to fix things after an argument even if it's simply saying, "I’m sorry." You have a better understanding of his story, and he’s comfortable sharing it with you, as you are with him.
It’s hard to say why some relationships make it and some don’t. I’m sure you have known a couple or two that you thought for sure would make it. But then they didn’t.
We do want you to be happy and find love. Even in this fast-paced society, it is possible. If you haven’t found it yet, keep trying. It is out there waiting for you.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.