11 Things A Loving Husband Does That A Wife Should Never Take For Granted
Men show their love in ways that wives might not always recognize.
Iryna Inshyna | Shutterstock Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart or the easily distracted. It takes commitment and creativity to keep a partnership up and running, especially as the years pass. The honeymoon period can’t last forever. The initial spark between a husband and wife might fade, but most couples find a shared sense of comfort.
For some, the cozy phase of marriage deepens their bond, while others may feel restless or resentful. Regardless of how routine married life may become, a loving husband does things a wife should never take for granted, especially if she wants their love to endure.
Here are 11 things a loving husband does that a wife should never take for granted:
1.He actively listens, making her feel heard and understood.
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A loving husband listens, and a wife should never take that act of consistent care for granted. When wives voice complaints about their husbands, their subpar listening skills usually top the list. Having a husband who puts emotional effort into communicating is a cause for celebration.
Long-married couples often overlook the power of sitting and listening to each other. Therapist Carin Goldstein explained that active listening enhances connection, intimacy, and trust. She advised couples to “listen with genuine attention.”
Partners can stay present with each other by putting their phones down, making eye contact, and asking gentle, open-ended questions. Those simple actions are more meaningful than people think. As Goldstein pointed out, active listening works by “showing the person on the other end, ‘What the other end, ‘What you are saying is important to me.’”
2.He expresses genuine gratitude, ensuring she knows she's appreciated.
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As sad as it might sound, it’s easy for long-term couples to take each other for granted. Distance might make the heart grow fonder, but living together amplifies every weird quirk and annoying habit. A loving husband has enough presence of mind to know that a simple “Thank you” goes a long way.
Relationship counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom shared that “one of the characteristics that set the blue ribbon relationships apart… is the tendency for both partners to live in a state of appreciation and gratitude.”
“Relationship problems will always exist for a couple, but when they say ‘thanks’ for every little thing, they continue thriving in a healthy relationship,” the Blooms explained. “They show up, are present, notice the tiniest things, and are generous of spirit. They know better than to take things for granted.”
Saying “thanks” might not repair infidelity or other serious breaches of trust, but it can prevent small ruptures from worsening.
3.He shares household responsibilities, always pitching in without being asked.
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Out of all the conflicts that husbands and wives have, the struggle around household chores tends to repeat itself without any sustainable resolution. Wives want their husbands to pitch in without being asked, while husbands don’t understand why their wives make such a big deal about it, when they could just give them a list of what to do.
The longer a marriage lasts, the more entrenched this fight can become. That is why a wife should never take for granted having a husband who takes initiative and helps out around the house without written instructions.
When it comes to maintaining a home, it’s not realistic for husbands or wives to expect a seamless 50/50 split, yet their division of labor should feel equitable. A loving husband doesn’t wait for an embossed invitation to pull his weight around the house. He just rolls up his sleeves and tackles the dishes that have been in the sink since breakfast. He sees himself as one half of a two-person team, so he strives to be a true partner in everything he does.
4.He makes her laugh, keeping the romance and joy alive.
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A wife should never take her husband’s silly side for granted. His commitment to making her laugh is a love language. It shows that he still wants to impress her, even after all their years together. He lives for that one special moment when she can’t keep a straight face any longer and she bursts out laughing.
A sense of humor can save a marriage from falling apart. Couples who share an arsenal of inside jokes and funny memories can still find joy in each other, unlike couples who take themselves too seriously.
When a husband makes his wife laugh, it’s an invitation to embrace the lighter side of life. She might not appreciate it every time he cracks a joke, but taking him for granted guarantees their relationship will sour.
5.He checks in regularly, strengthening their emotional connection.
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A husband can show his wife how much he loves her by surprising her with sweeping romantic gestures. Still, romance isn’t about bouquets of roses or artisanal chocolates, no matter how many rom-coms say otherwise. True romance is about deciding to show up, over and over, even when things are hard.
A loving husband will check in on his wife over the course of a day, and she should never take that display of devotion for granted. He finds time between meetings to call and ask how her day is going. He sends her flirty texts with as many heart-eye emojis as possible. A loving husband tells his wife he’s always thinking about her. His short, sweet check-ins are a reminder of why she fell in love with him in the first place, and she should never take that for granted.
6.He remembers the little things, celebrating every small moment.
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Paying attention to the details is something a loving husband does, and a wife should never take for granted. Couples might not want to admit it, but married life is made up of a series of mundane tasks, like mowing the lawn and scrubbing soap scum from the bathtub. A loving husband breaks up the monotony by remembering the little things, like putting just the right amount of milk in her coffee every morning.
Certified life coach Mitzi Bockmann explained that small displays of affection and connection have a profound impact. “The little things keep the marriage strong, the little things make someone feel loved, and the little things, when shared, can connect people in a lovely way,” she revealed. “Always pause and celebrate the little things — the small rites of passage in your lives you might take for granted.”
7.He cares for her when she's sick, offering support when she needs it most.
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As he said in his vows, a loving husband stands by his wife in sickness and in health; she should never take that for granted. When she’s too sick to move, he makes midnight pharmacy runs and brings her soup in bed. He collects her crumpled-up tissues, refills her water bottle, and reminds her to take medicine. He puts his love into action and stays by his wife’s side, no matter how contagious she may be.
He’s serious about his caretaking role, so he steps up and fills in the gaps for every part of their lives without his wife having to ask. He takes over carpool duty, bath time, and bedtime. He becomes the house chef and the official dog-walker, all without complaining. He knows that marriage is a give-and-take that ultimately balances out.
8.He respects her need for space, encouraging her personal growth.
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When a loving husband understands the importance of alone time, his wife should never take it for granted. He loves spending quality time with his wife but also knows that being together every waking minute isn’t healthy. He wants his wife to thrive, so he gives her all the space she asks for, and he never gets possessive or insecure.
He believes his wife should put herself first, whether going to the gym or napping. A loving husband encourages his wife to pursue whatever she’s passionate about, even if he doesn't understand the appeal of joining a competitive crochet team. Her dreams are his dreams, too, and that’s something a wife should never take for granted.
9.He manages stress with healthy coping mechanisms.
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Even the strongest marriages go through stressful phases, but a loving husband has healthy coping mechanisms that help him channel his inner peace instead of displacing his anger or anxiety. He works to regulate his emotions so that he doesn’t take his stress out on his wife. He doesn’t get it perfectly right every single time, but just the fact that he’s trying is something his wife should never take for granted.
A loving husband knows his stressors, which is the first step to coping. He practices his vulnerability by opening up to his wife and sharing his thoughts. Some men bottle up their feelings, ignoring them until they explode, but a loving husband is highly emotionally intelligent. He sees self-reflection as a continuous process. He’s always seeking to understand himself deeper, allowing him to be more present with his love.
10.He accepts her imperfections, loving her exactly as she is.
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A loving husband never pressures his wife to be anyone other than herself. He doesn’t judge her for her flaws. He understands just how imperfect she is by being human, and he loves her even more for it.
According to dating expert and relationship coach Amy Schoen, real love is based on radical acceptance. By the time that stage of marriage arrives, “you and your partner see one another more clearly. You see both the positive and the negative, and the flaws don’t scare you away.”
“You accept and forgive them because you accept your partner, and you have both made the choice to love one another no matter what,” Schoen continued.
“It is during this stage of love that you and your partner have a real sense of being a team,” she concluded. “This is a stage of calmness that comes from knowing that you’re fully committed to your relationship.”
A wife should never take a loving husband’s calm, steady presence for granted.
11.He plans regular date nights, keeping the spark alive in their relationship.
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Some women have to drag the men to join them for date night, while a loving husband prioritizes date nights. He does more than just show up to date night; he schedules them himself. A wife should never take a contentious husband for granted, especially when he’s equally as committed as she is to keeping their spark alive.
Psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten revealed that “couples do indeed have to work on maintaining interest, excitement, and connection.”
“Two people who are mindfully and purposely trying to engage with one another in positive and loving ways have a much better chance at fulfillment than people who assume that a marriage either works or doesn’t,” she explained.
According to Dr. Roman Whiten, regularly scheduled date nights “can be done intentionally as a way to show your love and commitment to making your marriage exciting.”
When a husband sees the value of dating his wife, even after they’ve been married for years, his wife shouldn’t take him for granted.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.