7 Things A Good Woman Won't Ever Do, Even If She Truly Loves Someone
The behaviors of a strong confident woman.
Antoni Shkraba | Pexels Here’s the thing about relationships. We all want to be in one (let’s just admit that no one likes to be alone), but at the same time, we’re always doing things to drive each other crazy and jeopardize our chances of holding on to a good one.
Don’t get me wrong; I would never advocate changing your behavior just for a man. But there are certain things good women are prone to doing in relationships that they wouldn’t do otherwise. These irritating habits and behaviors aren’t who we are, but for some reason, we’re compelled to act them out with our partners, or would-be partners.
Here are things a good woman won't do in a relationship:
1. Deflect compliments
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If he says you’re beautiful, don’t respond by telling him you haven’t showered today, you’re not wearing any makeup, and you’ve got a wicked case of PMS.
Maybe he actually likes you in grungy sweats and reading glasses, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail. If he didn’t, why would he say it? Just accept the compliment.
2. Never offer to pay
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Look, any man worth going out with is going to pay for you anyway — but at least offer to pick up the check once in a while. It’s just rude not to make the obligatory reaching-for-your-wallet movement.
And once you’ve been dating for a while, actually make a point of paying for drinks, dessert, or movie tickets now and then. Make sure he feels like your boyfriend, not an ATM.
A woman consistently not offering to pay or contribute in a relationship could stem from various factors, including societal expectations of gender roles, fear of appearing unfeminine, low self-esteem, wanting to maintain a traditional power dynamic, or even a desire to test the man's commitment by seeing if he takes the initiative to cover costs.
However, a 2010 study concluded that it's essential to consider individual context and not generalize solely based on gender. With evolving societal norms, many women are becoming more comfortable taking an active role in financial decisions within relationships.
3. Constantly complain about people you don’t like
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You know that girl you hate-follow on social media? The one in your yoga class who always puts her mat in front and does every pose perfectly?
Your boyfriend doesn’t want to see her latest annoying post. And that co-worker who made you look bad in front of your boss? He’s sick of listening to you rant about her every night.
Men don’t engage in this kind of mean-girl drama and hearing you do it just irritates them. It also makes them wonder if you’re complaining about him to your other friends — so save the snark for your girlfriends.
4. Purposely try to make their partner jealous
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When you’re annoyed at your boyfriend and you flirt with someone else at a party, all the while looking out of the corner of your eye to see if he notices, rest assured — he does.
But if you’re hoping to spark his jealousy and make him realize how much he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you, I’ve got bad news. You’re doing the opposite. Men see right through this manipulative behavior, and they loathe it.
When a woman tries to make someone jealous, it often stems from feelings of insecurity, a desire for validation, a need to test the relationship, or a power play to gain more attention from her partner. This behavior is often linked to low self-esteem and can be considered a form of manipulation, mainly if used excessively.
A study published by Evolution and Human Behavior suggests that women are more likely to be concerned with emotional infidelity, meaning they might try to induce jealousy by flirting or showing interest in others to gauge their partner's commitment level.
5. Judge your relationship according to social media
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Looking at other people’s relationships through the lens of social media and comparing your real-life relationship to their filtered one is a recipe for misery.
If you’re constantly snapping selfies with your boyfriend and tagging him in an attempt to look like the perfect couple online, or freaking out because you’re not hitting relationship milestones as quickly as your Facebook friends and their significant others, you might soon find your relationship status changed to “single.”
Directness in a relationship can benefit women by increasing relationship satisfaction, improving communication, and strengthening their sense of personal agency.
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology indicates that directness can be particularly important for women due to societal expectations of passivity and the potential for misinterpretations when not explicitly expressing needs and desires.
6. Make him feel guilty for having other interests
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Contrary to what some people might think, it’s healthy for people to maintain their outside interests and do things separately from their partners on a fairly regular basis.
Trying to guilt your partner into skipping his weekly bar trivia night, or getting mad because he wants to watch baseball instead of hanging out with you for the third night in a row, is guaranteed to tick him off and push him away.
7. Not be direct
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We’ve all done it. When we’re upset about something, but we don’t want to have to tell him about it (he should know!), we respond to our boyfriend’s innocent, “What’s wrong, baby?” with a shrug and a mumbled, “Nothing, I’m fine.”
This might be the thing women do that men hate the most. Just tell him what’s wrong.
Because chances are, he’s not going to dig. So don’t get mad when he shrugs back and you and walks away. You’ve been warned.
Elizabeth Laura Nelson is a Commerce Editor for First For Women and Woman's World. Her work has been featured on Elite Daily, MamaMia, SheSaid, and more.