If These 5 Uncomfortable Things Happen In Your Relationship, A Therapist Says It’s Actually Healthier Than You Think
Discomfort in a relationship isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock It's natural to experience uncomfortable moments when navigating love, which can make us question whether we are with the right person. However, you might not want to throw in the towel just because of a little discomfort. According to therapist and relationship expert Jeff Guenther, it might be exactly what you and your partner need.
Not every challenging or uncomfortable situation you may face with your partner is deemed a red flag. In a TikTok video, Guenther shared five things that might seem like trouble in paradise but are actually part of a healthy relationship. Here’s why these uncomfortable relationship experiences shouldn’t stress you out — and how it's exactly what you need to strengthen your bond.
A therapist shared the 5 uncomfortable relationship scenarios that are actually healthy despite how they feel:
1. 'Having some conversations happen over text instead of face-to-face'
Let's start out with being real; it's 2025, and most people's choice of communication is going to be via text. With this in mind, don't be surprised that your partner chooses to have some conversations with you over text, especially difficult ones.
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While face-to-face conversations are crucial in a relationship, texting isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially when it comes to difficult or sensitive topics. Some people tend to find it easier to talk about hard topics over text, being able to open up more and express their vulnerability through a screen. This can feel like a safe place to start harder conversations, offering a digital “wall” that helps create emotional distance.
Guenther said if texting gives you the ability to open up and express your emotions, then why not embrace it? In a relationship, it's about finding out what best ways of communication work for you and your partner — and if texting is what's best for you both, then by all means, text away.
2. 'Having a hard time performing on demand'
No one is a machine. Sometimes, we are not always in the mood — and hey, that's okay. Whether it's physical intimacy or other forms of emotional connection, expecting yourself or your partner to always be “on” can lead to unnecessary pressure.
Guenther said that sometimes the world can feel too overwhelming, and needing space to relax and unwind is totally acceptable. Other times, it can simply be that you're just not feeling it — and that's okay, too. Understanding these moments is crucial for a healthy relationship. Just because your partner doesn’t feel like engaging in something at a particular time doesn’t mean there's anything wrong with the relationship. Respect for each other’s boundaries and moods creates a stronger, more resilient bond.
3. 'Feeling bored around one another'
Boredom can feel scary in a relationship. No one wants the feeling of their partner being bored of them. But occasional boredom isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can often be a sign of comfort. When you’re with someone for an extended period, the novelty of getting to know them fades, and a certain predictability settles in. This can sometimes create boredom, but according to Guenther, this feeling can actually be healthy.
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Roxy Zarrabi Psy.D. explained in an article for Psychology Today that some people are so used to drama in relationships and what she called "emotional roller-coasters" that boredom feels bad. That, however, is unhealthy thinking. Predictable routines create stability, and if you can be comfortable enough to sit in silence or do nothing without feeling awkward, it might indicate a deeper sense of security in the relationship.
4. 'Wanting different sleep schedules or spaces'
Sleeping in different spaces or having varying sleep schedules is a surprisingly common source of tension in many relationships. We’re often told that couples should be in sync with each other’s sleep preferences, but the reality is that sleep needs can vary drastically. One partner might be a night owl, while the other needs to be in bed early.
Guenther suggested that sleeping in separate spaces or at different times can benefit your relationship in the long run. More restful sleep could result in happier interactions when you're awake. So don’t be afraid to experiment with sleeping separately. Sleep is an essential part of our well-being, and prioritizing your needs can make a happier and more energetic relationship in the long run.
5. 'Not being each other’s primary source of every emotion'
It's tempting to want your partner to be your everything — your emotional support, your financial advisor, and even your therapist. However, we're here to tell you that this can put unnecessary pressure on your relationship and can lead to feeling burnt out. Guenther encouraged couples to spread out their emotional needs and rely on a wider support system.
Use your village around you. That friend that graduated with a degree in finance? Go talk about finances with them whenever you're facing money issues. Your sibling that’s been there during every family argument? Go to them when more family drama has occurred — they’re probably the one that will understand you the most. By relying on the "village" of trusted people around you, you create space for your relationship to flourish without overloading it with every emotional expectation. A well-rounded support network benefits both individuals in the relationship, allowing the couple to grow stronger together.
It's understandable that these five things might seem concerning at first. However, they are actually part of having a healthy relationship. Embrace the discomfort when it arises, and remember: Not everything that feels off is a red flag. Healthy relationships involve navigating these challenges with empathy, patience, and an open mind.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.