5 Texting Strategies Smart Women Use To Keep A Guy Interested
You can't avoid texting when you begin dating, so use it to your advantage.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels Texting is a key part of dating — and not just when you're on the apps. Part of building and maintaining relationships is knowing how to text in a way that creates and maintains a connection and builds attraction.
However, having to build a connection through a screen, knowing you have to captivate someone’s attention, can feel like a challenge. And sending mundane text messages can really sabotage your chances for a reply.
But that’s about to change, because once you truly understand how to text a guy to keep him interested, you won't ever have to question how he feels.
Here's how to keep a man interested over text with 5 simple tips
1. Use his language
It's imperative to use their choice of words or slang when sending a text message to tap into their world. By using their words and vocabulary, it shows you're relating to them to create a cohesive vibe.
It naturally makes them feel like you "get" them because you're speaking their language. And relationships are all about relating to a partner. This little text trick will do wonders when you want to receive a keen reply.
Here’s an example (the words emphasized are the ones to pay attention to):
Text message from him: "I really enjoyed our dinner date over the weekend. Trying that new spot really satisfied my pizza craving."
Your reply text: "I agree, the pizza was spot on! So happy they opened a location in the states. Maybe we can grab dinner next weekend too?"
Text message from him: "Next weekend sounds great! You pick the spot!"
"Spot" was the keyword the man used to describe the restaurant. By using his keywords, this creates a mutual alignment in understanding and relating to each other. It opens the door to further conversation about similar interests.
Other common examples to include in your text exchange are the use of emojis, photos, memes, or current social phrases.
2. Take interest in his lifestyle
Everyone loves to talk about themselves, but showing genuine interest in his interests and life, in general, show that there's potential for a deeper connection. Asking him about his family, experiences, or ambitions allows you to establish rapport and build a foundation for a connection based on common interests you may share.
Organically, people are more likely to give you specific details when you show curiosity in who they are. And while the dating world is full of subpar first dates that never go anywhere past shallow, surface-level discussions, when you want to keep a man interested over text, it's essential to find out who he is.
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Taking a personal interest in the things that bring value to his life lets you gather an inside peek with who he really is inside. You can learn a lot about what he likes or dislikes, which makes it easier when planning dates and potentially taking the relationship further.
Not only are you gaining knowledge about him, but you're learning about yourself along the way. This gives you impactful insight into finding a powerful alignment with each other.
3. Give him compliments
Who doesn’t love a genuine compliment? It's probably one of the most essential tips on how to keep a man interested over text. A compliment can go a long way when you show a person you're interested in that you genuinely value certain aspects of who they are.
So, be sure to deliver plenty of authentic compliments when you text him. A few examples include:
- "I really like the blue shirt you wore last night. It’s a great color for you."
- "Thank you for dinner. You're a great cook!"
- "You're pretty funny. You sure know how to make me laugh."
When you speak with honest admiration, you’ll make him feel like a superstar. Not only will he like you more, but it will create instant oxytocin, which will keep him coming back to you. Who wouldn’t want to hear feel-good compliments?
Just remember that these compliments must be real and from a place of kindness. Don't even think about faking it. Schmoozing is easy to read right through and often has an ulterior motive. So, keep it straight when you text with the guy you're interested in.
4. Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions lets the connection grow between you two, because it shows you're taking the initiative to get to know more about him. Open-ended questions encourage people to really open up by adding more facts and emotions to their responses. They don’t just give the gist; they tell you the whole story.
If you find yourself asking closed-ended questions, he will only have to reply with one-word answers. And that doesn’t give much room for the conversation to continue to flow and grow. It’s almost like you're pulling teeth to have a conversation, which is the last thing you want to happen.
So steer clear of close-ended questions and instead ask open-ended ones.
Open-ended questions include:
- "Where are you from? What was it like growing up there?"
- "What did you do over the weekend?"
- "What are you up to tonight?"
Close-ended questions include:
- "What's your favorite food?"
- "Do you like comedy shows?"
- "Have you ever been skydiving?"
Photo: Marcus Aurelius / Pexels
5. Be authentic
It’s very easy to hide behind a screen and not convey the real you, especially if you still aren't quite sure how to text a guy to keep him interested. Unfortunately, hiding your true self won’t get you too far in building a deeper connection once it comes time to meet in real life.
Being your most authentic self is the only way to build a bond that will last and attract authentic people into your life. Trying to be someone you're not will actually push him in the opposite direction or attract guys you don't want to keep around.
Most people love a partner who isn’t afraid to express their honest opinions or show their emotions. It’s attractive to expose your personality when first getting to know someone, flaws and all. This is the best approach to bringing a guy closer, as you are your biggest advantage to success.
When it comes to keeping a man interested over text, you can only receive what you're willing to give.
If you're craving more romance, being congruent with your words and actions are crucial to attracting guys who are boyfriend material. And that requires integrity.
Integrity is all about sending the right message that is harmonious to your needs and interests. By having clear intentions, it leaves less room for texting errors. So, make sure your vibe is beaming with positivity to receive the attraction and love you crave!
You will begin attracting exactly what you want without feeling lost on how to get your needs met.
Jan and Jillian Yuhas are dating and relationship lifestyle coaches who help men attract the women they want. They have been featured in The Good Men Project, Thrive Global, and Shoutout DFW, among many others.