7 Surefire Spiritual Methods For Finding Love, According To Experts
Letting go of love might be the best way for love to finally find you.
svetikd, MART PRODUCTION | Canva The old song says, "All you need is love". It's a nice sentiment and a lovely song, but a logically flawed concept when applied to human survival.
We require air, water, food, shelter, and clothing to keep living from moment to moment. So, we definitely need more than love by itself. However, with the logic of human survival stated, there is another life necessity we definitely need in order to thrive.
We need love.
Love is vital to our well-being and is difficult to define. Love can manifest in a plethora of forms. Love is diverse. Due to its variety, it can also be difficult to find the love you need.
The pursuit of love is riddled with challenges. Where do I find love? At work, at a social event, through a friend, on a dating app, or dare we say: by using a matchmaker?
Pursuing love at work probably crosses ethical boundaries, social scenes can be precarious at best for finding true love. We love our friends, but have you ever been on the super awkward "Oh, you two will love each other" blind date set up by a friend? We can swipe until our fingers fall off and still not find the ever-elusive true love on those dating apps. As for matchmakers, have you seen Fiddler On The Roof?
So, where does this leave the seeker of love? Maybe it is time to put some faith in the universe and let love find you.
Here, 7 experts reveal the surefire spiritual methods for finding love:
1. Start from within yourself.
Embarking on a spiritual journey to find love begins from within. Love, in its truest form, radiates when we are in harmony with ourselves. You will need to cultivate self-awareness by diving deep into the recesses of your soul to understand and love the essence of yourself.
When we nurture self-love, we naturally draw others towards the same resonant energy. Simultaneously, aligning with the universe, or higher power, through meditation, mindfulness, or prayer can guide our paths to meaningful connections
Remember, the universe mirrors what we resonate with, so resonate with love, patience, and understanding. Seek first to understand and then to be understood. Your journey to love is as profound as your connection to the universe and yourself.
— Clare Waismann, M-RAS/ SUDCC II Substance Use Certified Counselor
2. Make yourself a vessel of love.
Prayer is the most powerful spiritual method I know of - but it's not praying for somebody to magically appear in your life. We must first enter into the sacred space of knowing "I am somebody worthy of being loved".
As you envision yourself worthy of love, and feel the energy of being loved, you can imagine yourself as a vessel of love with pure love flowing through you. You can feel the expectation in the person who is ready to receive your love.
We go into love affairs looking for the other person to complete us. But truly, the best love relationships emerge from two people who are already complete and ready to share the abundance of love they experience in their individual lives.
— Jennifer Hargrave, Managing Attorney, Hargrave Family Law
3. Say yes to dating yourself.
All the things you wish someone would do for you—do them for yourself.
I had a friend once who was searching for love to no avail. One day I said to him, "Take yourself on a date. Do everything that you love to do, spend your money on all the things you love, and have fun while you’re doing it. Have so much fun you become contagious (not in a viral way)."
When you date yourself, two things happen. First, people will want to spend time with you because people like fun people. Second, while you’re doing all the things you love, you will encounter people who have the same interests in common with you. This is the nectar to attract love.
We find love by loving life. Then, we become someone who can be loved in return.
— David Ahearn, Author/Speaker/Host
4. Cultivate clarity in what your needs are.
The decision to find a spiritual path to love is an equal commitment to live as a spiritual being. You may already have begun this path by being kind when no one is looking, finding worth in all beings, and being empathic in your interactions.
The path begins with preparation, moves into clarity, and includes surrender and trust. Preparation means grieving and releasing past hurts, shedding victim mentality and martyr complexes, and strengthening boundaries in the areas where they are weak.
Clarity is knowing your baseline needs, the things you can't live without, and what you must have. Surrender is letting go of past expectations that are not in line with your present needs. Clarity is also radical acceptance.
Finally, trust in your wholehearted belief you can create the conditions for love, and the love you want is already seeking you.
if this seems daunting, remember you don't have to be perfect. It is enough to make a sincere effort and surrender your imperfections. The universe/God works with your heart, desire, and best efforts.
While on your path use journaling to cultivate clarity, journal your mishaps and journal your wins, and revisit those losses and wins.
— Reta Faye Walker, Ph.D
5. Let go and show up.
The spiritual method for finding love begins with aligning with your own inner Spirit, which is love. Here are 3 simple steps.
First, let go of what you are looking for and get very clear about who you are according to your values, and the virtues you live by. What do you value? Healthy eating/exercise? Working and playing hard? Adventure? What are the virtues you won't compromise? Patience, integrity, honesty, compassion, respect?
Finding love starts with understanding 100% of who you are and what you bring to any relationship.
Next, let go of expectations — both yours and those to please or meet someone else's agenda. Tap into the unconditional love inside of you by releasing your criticism and judgment, and by staying open and curious. This helps drop your masks and allows you to experience someone for who they are
Finally, show up authentically with all your values and virtues. Your authentic self will attract a match to your energy. Other people who share your values and virtues will be drawn to you and you to them. The more you show up being fully who you want to be in a relationship, the easier it is to find love.
— Carolyn Hidalgo, Soul Executive Coach
6. Don't make it the decision of a higher power.
Let’s begin with what you shouldn’t do, don't make this “God’s decision".
I had a patient who after a divorce, and several no-where relationships, began to pray. She turned over the decision to find a partner with God and felt the next person she met would be God’s choice. This proved to be another poor relationship for her.
Now, let's look at what to do.
Allow your spirituality to guide you, but know this is a decision you need to make. What can you look for in another person you may not have considered before? Look for the light in someone who matches your light. Look for someone who honors your spiritual path even if their spiritual path is different.
— Patricia O'Gorman, PhD Psychologist, Author, Speaker
7. Are you sending the message you are ready for love?
When it comes to finding love, I am a firm believer in attraction. This spiritual principle is based on the idea that like energy attracts like energy.
Some people have a hard time finding love. They are not fully aware of how their way of being in the world can attract or repel certain types of people. One of the simplest ways to leverage attraction is to practice receiving compliments rather than discounting their value.
Every time you deflect a compliment, you are, in essence, sending a message to the Universe that you are not ready for love. Your self-negating message can repel your future partner. The less you deflect compliments, the more you get to practice allowing love in, no matter what form the love is. This allows you to vibrate at a whole new frequency and send a message to the universe you are ready for love.
Attraction is not about using positive thinking to attract positive outcomes. It's about putting your intention and way of being in the world in direct alignment with what you want.
— Niki Payne, Clinical Hypnotherapist
Love might not be all we need to survive, but we all need love in order to thrive.
Though elusive, love is out there and we all need it to be our best selves and bear the fruit of our compassion.
Once you can let go and stop trying to force love, love will find a way to find you.
Will Curtis is the associate editor at Yourtango.