4 Subtle Ways To Go From 'Just Friends' To 'Absolutely Irresistible,' According To Psychology
The chemistry is there, but you want to turn up the heat.
Samuel Yongbo Kwon | Unsplash You meet a great guy. You click. There is a connection from the get-go. Compatibility and rapport become unmatched, and you enjoy each other’s company more frequently. The more you see each other, the more you appreciate him and think he is a perfect fit to be your guy, only you remain "just friends".
You now find yourself wishing and hoping he will see you as absolutely irresistible, but sadly, it isn’t happening. "Interpersonal chemistry develops when two people experience their interaction as something more than the sum of their separate contributions," according to a study from The American Psychological Association (APA), explaining that chemistry grows when they find similarity, shared identity, mutual attraction, responsiveness, and goal coordination.
Here are four subtle ways to go from just friends to irresistible, according to psychology:
1. Act with sensuality
Sensuality is when a woman is receptive and fully present in heart and body rather than in mind. A sensual woman invites, engages, and rivets her energy to help her man discover his being and steer him into his emotions. And this, for a man, is truly mesmerizing.
Learn some sensual moves like gazing into his eyes for a longer time, as suggested by a 2017 study that "showed people looked at the head and chest more when assessing potential mates and looked at the legs and feet more when assessing potential friends." Eye contact, along with touching his cheek or hair, can also send the message that you want more. Relate with him in a way to stirs his emotions and desire.
2. Cultivate your appeal
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If you are a woman who has limiting beliefs about men and intimacy (i.e., men are bad, physical intimacy is dirty), then you might emit a rigid and guarded energy, possibly because you lack intimate relationship skills. You subconsciously sabotage any chance that will lead you to a more profound connection with a man. Relationship self-sabotage can appear as "defensiveness, trust difficulty, and lack of relationship skills," according to studies in BMC Psychology.
If you want to ooze with attraction and confidence (traits men love), you should honor your body and sensuality in all your glory.
3. Don't be too available
Are you always there for him? Do you always agree to meet every time he asks to hang out? Chances are, if you are always there, it won't take long before your interaction gets too comfortable and boring.
A day with you turns into a mundane occurrence instead of a phenomenal one. You’re becoming more of an on-call psychologist rather than having an intimate relationship.
Be less available. Even play hard to get. Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder, which is supported by a 2017 study that found most people will "deliberately invest more time in communication to reinforce their social bonding and prevent their relationships decaying when these are threatened by lack of interaction."
4. Don't be too nice
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Do you talk too much? Do you come over to his place uninvited? Do you volunteer to cook for him? Are you more than happy to do his laundry? Do you always listen to his woes and problems and become his shoulder to cry on? You are acting like a wife before you even start a romance.
The most desirable women are the mysterious ones. It is when there is something new to discover about you that his interest gets ignited.
Friendship is a good foundation for a romantic relationship. Most men want to marry their best friends. In this case, you are already halfway there for the simple reason that your connection is a given. He already loves you. You just have to operate in a different dynamic, one step more than friendship.
Desire is the missing link. A little adjustment to your demeanor, and it won't be long until he sees you in a different light, as his best friend and life partner all rolled into one.
Gem Villamin is a love, dating, and life coach, and a feminine energy healer. She specializes in helping women attract love and heal broken relationships.
