3 Subtle Traits Of Women Who Mesmerize Men, According To Psychology
Women like this know exactly how to get a man's attention.
Jonathan Borba | Canva Many men are attracted to feminine women who are comfortable with themselves and know how to express it authentically. Unfortunately, many women don't know how to flirt with a guy by embracing (and retaining control over) their inner power, let possess the subtle traits men find truly mesmerizing. A 2021 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found that the main reason men and women find themselves "involuntarily single" is that they don't know how to flirt.
In my own experience, after going on far too many dead-end dates, I realized that the reason I hated dating so much and wanted to quit was that I was extremely uncomfortable around men. Eventually, I realized I needed to learn how to be confident and express myself without necessarily feeling the need to be intimate.
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Here are 3 subtle traits of women who mesmerize men, according to psychology
1. They make eye contact
A recent study of potential partners meeting for speed-dating found that men and women alike were not only more likely to be attracted to people with whom they shared more eye-contact, but they were also more likely to want to see them again.
Try giving your date a sultry look now and then when he says something flirty, touch his arm to make a point, or intentionally lean in closer to hear what he's saying. Don't just make brief eye contact; stare deeply into his eyes and smile while he's telling a story.
2. They are comfortable making physical contact
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Instead of sitting across from him at the table, sit next to him. If you're afraid to touch him, put your hand lightly on his arm and say, "I love your shirt." Or, if you're feeling bold, brush your hand against his knee and say you love his pants. A 2022 study of men and women in both Norway and the US found that flirty physical contact is one of the best ways to show someone you're interested in them.
Another simple way to flirt is to address your date by his name. And remember, just because you know how to tease, that doesn't mean you are a tease. With practice, you will simply feel lighter and more attractive with every date.
3. They know how to set boundaries — playfully
One of the biggest mistakes many women make is getting uncomfortable when a man makes advances. If you shut a man down when he tries to take the conversation into intimate, flirty territory, it could stop the momentum cold.
I know it can feel uncomfortable to have a man express his interest, so practice setting boundaries in a playful way. This won't only make him want you, but he'll grow curious about getting to know you, which means he'll want to spend more time with you.
Hailey Magee, a certified life coach with the Gottman Institute and author of the book STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power, explains that boundaries "enable us to honor our limits — what works for us and what doesn’t—and design our lives and relationships around those limits."
If things start to heat up, find a playful way to let your date know you are not going home with him. If he suggests you come back to his apartment, you might say with a smile, "I am really flattered, but you are going to have to work a lot harder than that to get me to go home with you."
Lisa Shield is a dating coach with a Master's in Spiritual Psychology and certification as a life and relationship coach through The Coaches Training Institute. She is also the host of the podcast "Finding The Guardian Of Your Soul."