10 Subtle Signs He's Totally Smitten With You, According To Psychology
If these signals sound familiar, he likes you a whole lot.
PeopleImages | Canva The definition of love is much-debated, and the reality varies, depending upon where you are in your relationship. For example, love, when you're walking down the aisle to exchange your "I Dos", is pretty different from the love you share when you're celebrating your hard-won, 50th anniversary.
The thing is, many of us aren't even close to the proposal phase, let alone wedding or golden anniversary. What we want to know is does he like me? Does he like me?
Here are 10 subtle signs he's smitten with you, according to psychology:
1. He talks you up to all his friends
Helena Lopes / Pexels
If you're meeting his friends for the first time and they already know your entire life history — not to mention your favorite movie, ice cream flavor, and guilty pleasure song — chances are he's hooked on you and has probably been suffering major nagging at the hands of his buddies in the name of love.
2. He enjoys doing the most inane activities with you
Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels
Doing laundry together. Running errands. Napping. Shoe shopping. Congratulations, you're the most boring couple ever. (Kidding!) But when he acts like the most mundane, everyday activities are confetti-filled barrels of fun — because you're doing them together — there's definitely something there.
3. He'd rather talk to you than watch the latest episode of whatever he's into
Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
If he shuts down his iPhone, Xbox, or most recently scheduled Netflix queue so that he can give you his undivided attention, don't doubt his devotion. Most women would kill to command that sort of attention at later points in their relationships.
4. He's not afraid to say, "I love you"
Helena Lopes / Pexels
He willingly says it in front of both friends and family and doesn't balk at PDAs either. One study from Abertay University even found that men, internationally, were more likely to say "I love you" first in a relationship.
5. He misses you
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
He texts and/or emails regularly to say that he was "thinking about you," or "just wanted to say hi." Even a "Hey, what's up?" speaks to the depths of the pain he feels when you're not around. And if he can't let a day go by without a phone chat? You're gonna have a tough time getting rid of this one.
6. He talks about a shared future
Anna Shvets / Pexels
He says "we" instead of "I," and talks about your future together as if it's a given. "When you meet my sister you'll see what I mean," or "My birthday was boring this year — we'll have to do something fun next year." He may not have mentioned marriage, but he's definitely thinking long-term.
7. He goes the extra mile
Vija Rindo Pratama / Pexels
He surprises you with candy buttons because he knows they're your fave. He puts gas in your car or unloads the dishwasher, completely unsolicited.
They're not grand gestures, but he's making an obvious attempt to do something special for you. Men and women speak different languages when it comes to romance, but when he does something nice for you without being asked, he's trying. And that speaks volumes.
8. He can't get over how beautiful you are
Ron Lach / Pexels
If you keep catching him sneaking peeks at you from across the room, he's totally a goner. Eye contact is important when it comes to love, with one study from the Journal of Research in Personality even showing it can take as little as two minutes for people to feel a connection.
9. He picks you over the boys
Jack Sparrow / Pexels
Are his friends hitting up the local dive bar? Well... he'd rather spend the night with you and your latest Hulu picks. They're going to a microbrewery for beer tastings? Well... the two of you already had plans to hit up a comedy show later that evening.
They're making their monthly odyssey to that club a few towns over? Well... hmm... lemme think about... what!? Of course, I'd rather spend time with you, honey. Yes, he's smitten.
10. He's willing to be a total mush
Ba Tik / Pexels
As evidenced by the Spotify playlist he made you for your monthaversary, complete with a cutesy title, and accompanied by a carefully chosen card containing five long paragraphs on why he's grateful you're a part of his life.
YourTango brings our community of readers, writers, thought leaders, and the world’s leading relationship and mental health experts together to connect and engage where it matters most: the heart.