5 Stunning Intimacy Secrets Wives Keep From Their Husbands
Some things are too hard to say, even in marriages.
Kateryna Hliznitsova, Kristina Flour | Unsplash I can't talk about that, how would he react if he knew, I've never talked about these things to anyone in my life, there is no way I could even bring that topic up with him. There can be a thousand ways to explain why a wife will hide the most intimate things from her husband.
Here are 5 small intimacy secrets wives keep from their husbands:
1. Opinions on his family or best friend
Unless someone is truly disrespectful or dangerous, many women feel there's no need to share their personality conflicts with someone important to their husband. They feel it will make their husband feel bad or worse, “in the middle” of something, it may wind up causing a rift in their relationship.
They believe not every person they meet will be their friend, and being an adult means knowing and honoring that while being polite and respecting their loved one's right to choose.
— Brenda Della Casa, Author
2. Her need for self-pleasure
Women tend to hide their self-pleasure from their husbands. Some men may feel threatened by adult toys and consider them unnatural. Or, in cases of self-gratification without toys, the husband might feel cheated out of the physical intimacy they could be having with their wives, as demonstrated in a study from 2022. These husbands expect their wives to shore up all the intimate energy for their relationship.
— Dr. Gloria Brame, Therapist
3. Her intimate likes and dislikes
One sad fact is women often know exactly what they like and dislike during intimate play, yet they don't share their feelings, worrying they will anger or upset their husbands, or make them feel inadequate due to their perceptions of masculinity as shown in a 2021 study. Ironically, it is precisely this lack of sharing that makes having mutually gratifying intimacy so difficult.
— Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D., Psychologist and Award-winning author
Myboys.me via Shutterstock
4. How to get her in the mood
This is most likely the number one issue women have with men. Lack of hearing her about this can cause her to cheat or deny you. If you don’t want to land yourself in either of these situations, realize that intimate play is important to women. Women need time to rev up. They do not function like a man — their bodies are not on board with just a quick kiss and grab. No — women need touch, passionate kissing, playfulness, and a man with a desire to learn about their bodies, as shown in 2020 research on touch and marital satisfaction.
— Rene Schooler (AKA Kendal Williams), Relationship Coach
5. Any secret she keeps is an intimate secret
Intimacy between romantic partners is one of the most precious gifts of the relationship. Courageous Intimacy is what brings continued growth and evolution to the partnership. It keeps it alive, exciting, and flourishing. Hiding anything, especially those things that are tender and deserve attention, or embarrassing and shameful becomes the poison that disintegrates the partnership.
If we make it OK to hide one thing, it becomes OK to hide all things. The rationalization for such actions is what we call a Rational Lie. As challenging as the truth might be to reveal, according to a 2021 study telling the truth becomes one of the greatest foundations of all lasting relationships. This answer is the same for husbands and wives.
— Larry Michel, AKA The Love Shepherd, Founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics
Relationships challenge us in extreme ways. Opening yourself intimately to another person, honestly and completely, without hidden information or forbidden topics is an exercise in trust and vulnerability. Often, we can end up socializing through bad experiences to hide those pieces of ourselves we should be celebrating with our spouses.
Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.