3 Specific Signs A Man Wants To Be With You Long-Term, According To Psychology
This is the way he opens his heart.
LightFieldStudios | Canva It's great when you meet a guy who's attracted to you. But, as you probably know from experience, attraction alone is not enough. After seeing a few guys come and go, knowing how men bond with women they're dating becomes important.
Here are 3 specific signs a man wants to be with you long-term, according to psychology
1. He starts slow
A guy who can be in a relationship for the long run starts slow. I call it starting at level 5. He takes his time getting to know you because he knows it takes more than just chemistry to be in a relationship.
Guys who start at level 10 are all about chemistry. They start strong and want to be with you all the time. The challenge is they can't keep up the pace and quickly lose interest because they're not building anything with you.
A guy who starts at level 5 has room to grow and bond with you, as suggested in research on the mechanisms of social connection published by the American Psychological Association. It takes time and shared experiences to bond with a guy. A guy who can be with you for the long run starts slow because he wants to know you.
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2. He builds momentum
Men bond as they build momentum with you. A review in the Handbook of Relationship Initiation helps explain building momentum and friendship shows as he sees you more often and makes you a part of his life. It's not enough that he starts slow — there has to be a feeling he is building momentum with you.
If you find yourself getting into a pattern of just seeing him once a week for a date over a long period, then he doesn't have momentum with you. A guy with momentum starts making plans ahead and asks you how you feel about them. He's not just living week to week with you.
A good question to ask yourself is: "Do I feel I have momentum with him?"
3. He has an eye for the finish line
The final piece of the puzzle is that men bond when they commit to you, as explored by studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. This happens when he asks you to stop dating other people and be exclusive with him when he starts talking about and making long-term plans with you., and when he introduces you to family and friends.
You're becoming a part of his life. And finally, of course, when he asks you to marry him. You will notice he wants to take more responsibility with you. This means he includes you in his decisions in life and asks you how you feel about them. In other words, he wants to build a life with you.
Men bond with you when they start slow and get to know you as a human being. Time and shared experiences are the way a man opens his heart.
Momentum is key for a man. A man who's building with you is bonding with you. A man who can see the finish line and shares his vision with you is a man you can be with for the long run.
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James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of A Life of Love and Dating Advice for Alpha Women.