6 Small Sacrifices Only The Most Successful Couples Make, According To Experts
You can lose some things and be a better couple for it.
Creative Credit | Canva Committing to love is also committing to change. You will make adjustments to your previous mindset and behavior you had before the relationship. Some individuals will completely sacrifice themselves for a relationship and end on the road to ruin. But, the best couples will make some sacrifices, or else the relationship won't last.
Here are small sacrifices only the best couples make, according to experts:
1. They give up "me" for "we"
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Hands down the biggest thing I've sacrificed is alone time. My boyfriend, Jeremy, and I moved in together about a year ago. Overall, it's been a great experience and I love spending time with him, but it's become blatantly clear that I need some me-time to recharge, while he's happy being together all the time.
— Amelia Mularz, Author
2. They stop prioritizing self-interests
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The most successful couples move away from prioritizing self-interests over the relationship, as outlined in research on commitment and attachment. Instead, they embrace a mutual understanding centered on the principle of "good for me and you."
This shift protects the couple and each partner as individuals to foster a win/win dynamic. When one partner wins at the expense of the other, both ultimately lose.
With this mindset, the notion of "your success is my success" becomes a shared celebration rather than a sacrifice.
— Eva Van Prooyen, Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Specialist
3. They make accommodations, not sacrifices
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A sacrifice implies someone gives up something valuable for their partner. The best couples accommodate.
When they decide to substitute something they desire for something their partner desires/wants, this is done because they truly believe it is the best way to go, as supported by a 2020 study from Brigham Young University. That's not a sacrifice because it is a desired outcome both people are happy with.
— Larry Michel, AKA: The Love Shepherd and the Founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics
4. They don't give up something but rather add new interests
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I don't think the best sacrifices are the things we give up, so much as they are the things we add to our relationship. Such as attending an activity that is important to your partner and adding an interest to increase the quality time you spend together.
Maybe these aren't the "things" you would choose on your own, but you choose them because they are important to your partner, and in so doing, you increase the love in your relationship, as demonstrated in 2018 research.
— Jennifer S Hargrave, Managing Partner, Hargrave Family Law
5. They lose the need to be right
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No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, despite the vision you may get from some of my other articles. There will be disagreements, there will be arguments, and there will be, above all, compromise.
When these situations arise, flexibility is key. You cannot always have things your way and expect a relationship to operate smoothly. Research on compromise explains how It requires give and take from both people.
If either teammate feels the need to constantly be right, they'll be closed off from hearing and adjusting to their partner's opinions, and the relationship will implode.
— James Michael Sama, Author and Relationship Coach
6. They give up a self-interest to achieve a shared goal
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For example, you might sacrifice a date night to stay home and help your kids with a school project. Or, you may choose to skip an event you want to attend to prioritize time alone with each other.
These are small sacrifices you enjoy because they achieve a goal for you both, whether it's to make other people happy or for the sake of more private time with the one you love.
— Dr Gloria Brame, Ph.D., Therapist
When taken together, it seems as though the sacrifices the best couples make are not sacrifices in the sense of giving up something you don't want to lose for the benefit of another.
The sacrifice in a relationship generally doesn't involve the loss of something dear but is more an adjustment to your previous mindset and behavior, and the adjustment produces something dear. A deep connection and richer love.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.