The Simple Behavior That Reveals Someone Is A Perfect Match For You, According To A Philosophy PhD
If you've ever wished there was an easy way to know if someone was right for you, this might be the answer.
Halay Alex | Shutterstock Taking the leap and committing to spend your life with one person can be scary. How can you truly be sure you've found the one?
Knowing if you're with the right person might be simpler than expected — in fact, it's so simple that the answer is hidden in a children's book.
A man with a Ph.D. in philosophy explained the simple behavior that reveals someone is a perfect match for you.
TikTok content creator Julian de Medeiros holds a Ph.D. in philosophy. He uses his invaluable insight to guide people on their own journeys, offering up nuggets of wisdom. One recent nugget detailed the simple behavior that indicates you're with the right partner.
“Here’s a very simple relationship green flag,” he said. “Like, if they exhibit this trait, then you’re probably going to be fine. And it goes back to a simple observation by Dr. Seuss, who basically argued that the most important thing is that they match your energy. Like, that they match your weird.”
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“As Dr. Seuss put it, ‘The world is strange. Everyone is strange. And yet, when two people whose strangeness is mutually compatible join forces and fall into strangeness together, they call it love,’” de Medeiros quoted. “It’s very similar to Paul Valéry’s observation that love is being stupid together,” he continued. Valéry was a French writer and philosopher, someone who de Medeiros would likely be very familiar with given his own studies.
“If you find somebody who makes you feel so relaxed that you can be yourself, like, who makes you smile and laugh, makes you feel abundantly joyful, then you’re gonna be fine,” he assured.
de Medeiros was quick to acknowledge that this isn’t all there is to love, and there are certainly other factors to consider. However, he contended that one thing was more important than all others. “But the most important thing, I would say, is that they match your energy. That they like your strange. That they bring out the best in you,” he explained. “That’s the sign.”
Matching energy is a two-way street.
Finding someone who matches your energy sounds like a dream come true. Unfortunately, that’s not always the energy that gets matched. Writer Molly Burford said, “The right person will deliver energy that feels like love, like care, like home.”
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Conversely, if you’re not receiving that kind of energy from a significant other, you should still match their energy, giving them exactly what they’re giving you. “And until then, only give the energy you’re receiving,” she continued. “It’s better than expending all you have on someone who frankly does not want or deserve you.”
Burford explained that if someone is giving you minimal energy and not showing you the respect you deserve, then that’s the energy you should match yourself. “You will realize you deserve more and only look for partners who can reciprocate with the same enthusiasm,” she shared. “Matching the energy doesn’t just work when you’re trying to let someone go. It helps you to fall in love with the right person, too.”
Critics were skeptical of the theory because of the role Dr. Seuss played in its inception.
Several people who commented on de Medeiros’ video wondered why he was looking to Dr. Seuss for relationship advice when he supposedly cheated on his wife. Technically, this is just a rumor and cannot be proven either way.
According to Snopes, Dr. Seuss’ first wife died by suicide after a long battle with health issues. Shortly thereafter, he remarried. Many believe he had an affair with his second wife, which caused his first wife to end her life, but Snopes could not confirm the validity of this. Whether this is true or not, it’s a reminder not to put anyone on too high of a pedestal and perhaps to take famous people’s advice with a grain of salt.
Ultimately, however, the advice is sound. If you find someone who can match your "weird," it's definitely a good sign that the relationship will go far. After all, finding someone you can be your true self with is integral to being deeply in love.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.