6 Signs Of A Highly Compatible Partnership That Can Go The Distance, According To Psychology
Sometimes it's not a matter of finding the right relationship, but realizing when you have it.
peopleimages | Canva The love story that we're sold is one in which it makes everything happy and light and easy. Even if we think we're wise enough to see beyond it, most people subconsciously succumb in one way or another. Maybe it isn't about being able to determine whether or not someone is the highly compatible "right fit" for us but being able to determine how far we're willing to push ourselves to see.
Oftentimes, the partnerships we're in aren't wrong, they're just not what we imagined they'd be. At some point or another, most people need a gentle wake-up call — a little reminder that love is what we foster, not what we find.
Here are signs of a highly compatible partnership that can go the distance:
1. You feel at peace
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In any other situation, this would put you at ease. But lately, it's left you questioning whether or not that romantic spark still exists.
The truth is that the kind of love that lasts, the kind on which you build a respectful, intimate, real relationship, makes you feel at peace.
It's more comfort than panic and thrill. There's a difference between settling into comfort and settling for less than a love that makes you feel like your best, most grounded self.
2. You know how to resolve your old relationship patterns
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When you arrive at the point where you're able to recognize a pattern emerging, you're also at the point where you're ready to let it go. Often in the best relationships, these issues stand front and center. It's never a matter of whether or not you experience them, but whether or not you resolve them.
To resolve old relationship patterns, individuals need to gain self-awareness by identifying recurring patterns, understanding their root causes, which often stem from childhood experiences, and actively working to change behaviors and reactions through conscious effort, mindfulness practices, and potential therapy.
A 2022 study found this process usually involves recognizing triggers, developing healthy coping mechanisms, and challenging negative relationship beliefs.
3. You realize that nobody is responsible for your happiness but you
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When most people give up on love, it's because they've reached the point at which the other person doesn't make them happy.
The harsh reality is that nobody else can make you happy — not consistently, anyway. Regardless, that's never something you should rely on. Unhappy periods will come and go, but your bond has to be stronger.
The key to that is fueling your own gas tank; as anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you, it's unrealistic attachment and expectation that sinks the ship faster than anything else.
4. You have an unprecedented level of acceptance for one another
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This is often an overlooked quality for a relationship, but it's an important one. The right relationship is the one in which you have mutual acceptance and respect for one another.
In other words, you're not trying to change each other. You don't tease each other for the little things. You see who the person is in their entirety, not just the parts you'd prefer.
Acceptance of one another is a crucial component of healthy relationships. A 2023 study demonstrated a strong positive correlation between feeling accepted by a partner and overall relationship satisfaction.
5. You want the same things in the long-term
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There are so many crucial practicalities when it comes to choosing a life partner who's suited for you, though none of them seem very romantic on the surface.
One of the most important is whether or not you want the same things in the big picture: kids or dogs or both. Suburbs or city?
If any one person has to compromise a fundamental part of the life they want to live for the sake of the relationship, it likely won't work out.
6. You both genuinely want to make it work
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All relationships have issues. Making it through them is usually only a matter of whether or not both parties have a deep, innate desire to do so.
A key factor in wanting to make a relationship work is a strong sense of commitment. This is often fueled by positive perceptions of your partner's responsiveness, open communication, shared values, and a willingness to actively invest effort in resolving conflicts and maintaining positivity within the relationship.
A 2023 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin highlighted the importance of small gestures showing care, actively listening to your partner's needs, and expressing appreciation as crucial elements for a successful partnership.
There's a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice that goes into fostering a healthy, loving bond, and if you aren't willing to give it all you have, you probably won't make it through the trials that you will inevitably face.
Brianna Wiest is a writer, editor, author, and regular contributor to publications such as Huffington Post, Forbes, Teen Vogue, Thought Catalog, and many others. She's the author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, and other collections of poetry and prose.