3 Signs Someone Has A Secret Crush On You
It's not always obvious.
sergey causelove | Shutterstock Having a crush on someone can feel like a rollercoaster. You're excited and thrilled to be around them, but at the same time, you're scared they might not feel the same way.
So, how can you tell if someone is into you — or if it's all in your head?
Relationship therapist and dating expert, Kimberly Moffit, reveals the signs that someone might secretly have a crush on you:
1. They act nervous or spazzed out around you.
Moffit says that someone who likes you will be less playful and more on edge around you.
According to prosecutor Wendy L. Patrick, “Research reveals the impact of attraction across the lifespan, and in particular, how nervous behavior indicates attraction.” This adds up as nervous reactions cause us to blush, smile, or laugh more, which can grab the attention of our crush without us even trying.
So, if your person engages in any of these behaviors, chances are they may like you.
2. They make an effort to be around you more.
Moffit suggests that someone who is interested in you will make commitments to spend time with you, too.
When it comes to making plans with friends, people tend to be more flexible. However, when someone has a crush on you, it makes sense they'd want to see you again.
They won't just offhandedly plan to hang out next week. No, a friend who secretly crushes on you will schedule a date, time, and place to hang out with you.
And if you don't have transportation? They'll make an effort to pick you up, just to make sure you can hang out with them.
3. They keep up their appearance around you.
If someone has a secret crush on you, they'll always look their best around you. You won't catch them in sweatpants or stained t-shirts; instead, they'll make sure to smell good and do themselves up perfect just to impress you.
The person who is crushing on you might even mention their new haircut or dawn a brand new outfit just to see if you'll notice and say something to them about it.
The National Institute of Health, writes “People feel better about themselves when they think they are attractive to others." So, they're not just trying to impress you (although that's an obvious bonus); they're also doing it to feel more confident when they're around you.
Still not sure if they have a crush on you?
There are other — less obvious — signs that indicate someone's crushing on you too.
Social and personality psychologist Jermy Nicholson delves into this a bit more, saying, "When someone is interested in you, they tend to have open and forward body language.”
If you notice them leaning in toward you when you speak or getting more animated in their movements when you're around them, it is a good sign they're into you.
Next, let me embarrass myself real quick. Before my fiance and I got together, I was all up in his personal space. I'd sit next to him and playfully hit his arm when he made me laugh.
Is it cliche? Yes. But no one can deny that physical touch is an indicator that somebody likes you.
Is the person who might be crushing on you introducing you to their circle of family and friends? If they are actively incorporating you into their life, then chances are they like you.
Finally, if this person has a crush on you, they'll show gratitude towards you too. Whether you helped them with a homework assignment or just gave them directions to the nearest grocery store, this person will go out of their way to make you feel appreciated if they have a thing for you.
Trying to figure out someone's feelings can be a puzzle. However, these signs can help you put the pieces together — helping you figure out if there's a hint of something more there.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.