11 Signs You've Met Your Benny Blanco Who Is Actually Going To Treat You Right
It's never too late to find that special someone.
Photo: DFree, Shutterstock | Design: YourTango People worldwide are swooning over music producer Benny Blanco, Selena Gomez's fiancée. He takes every opportunity he can to gush about Gomez and even filled an entire bathtub with nacho cheese for her on Valentine's Day. Believe it or not, there are plenty of people out there who are just like him, and some of us may have already found them.
Even though they may not declare their love in such outrageous ways, there are certain signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right. This person will demonstrate the same attitude about love as Blanco, making you feel like you're the luckiest person in the world. If you're searching for forever love, be sure to look for someone with these traits.
Here are 11 signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right
1. They value communication
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During a recent episode of the Jay Shetty Podcast, Benny Blanco explained just how important communication can mean to your partner, even if they may not say it. He explained that he always makes the time to talk to Gomez before bed, lets her know if he's going to be home late, and reminds her how much he loves her. This reassures her that she is a priority, and he will always make sure she knows it.
Your own Benny Blanco will recognize the value in proper communication. In his book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, claims that a couple's communication pattern can often predict how successful a relationship will be.
A partner who makes communication a priority will meet your expectations, gain your trust, and prevent any misunderstandings that make you feel as if you aren't important to them.
2. They're a great listener
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According to Blanco, one of the biggest issues men struggle with is actively listening to their partners. But when you find a person who listens without judgment, it's one of the signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right.
Listening is about providing a space for your partner to vent. A good partner will listen to you, trying to understand your emotions, see your perspective, and adjust their behavior in every way they can to make you feel valued. According to psychologist Carl Rogers, "active or deep listening is at the heart of every healthy relationship" and is also "the most effective way to bring about growth and change."
When your partner actively listens to you, they are telling you that they genuinely care about what you are saying and what you need from the relationship.
3. They're proactive
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When Blanco wakes up in the morning, he revealed that the first thought that crosses his mind is, "How can I make Selena's day better? What can I do in my day that makes her day better? Because that makes my day better."
A genuine partner like Blanco will be proactive in coming up with ways to make your day the best it can be. Maybe they surprise you with your favorite coffee. Maybe they complete the grocery shopping you've been putting off. Or, maybe they fill your living room with beautiful flowers from the market.
Whatever it is that they do, they know it is something that will bring a smile to your face. And they do it without expecting anything in return, as the main goal is to make you feel extremely loved and adored.
4. They're observant
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Having an observant partner doesn't mean they stare at you while you wash dishes or shower; rather being observant means they are attentive to your needs, emotions, and behaviors so they can better support you, anticipate your needs, and respond to your feelings in a compassionate way.
Being observant shows that they care enough to notice the little things about you — whether it's changes in your mood, something you've mentioned wanting, or subtle cues in your body language. This fosters trust and emotional intimacy in the relationship, and will make you feel truly seen by your partner.
5. They know how to manage their emotions
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One of the glaring signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right is the way in which they express their emotions. Blanco knows how important emotional regulation is in a relationship, and your own personal Benny Blanco will know too.
When people are able to properly regulate their emotions, even in a heated moment, they are able to better express themselves calmly, and listen to their partner with empathy rather than reacting in a way that would make them feel unsafe.
According to clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, PhD, "We are wired to have feelings. If we express these feelings in off-putting ways, this wiring can invite a disconnect in our relationships. By contrast, expressing feelings in a safe way can lead to our feeling more connected, especially to loved ones. Knowing how to express feelings tactfully is therefore vital if you want to feel close to people and to sustain your relationships."
Every couple is going to face disagreements; it is just part of being in a relationship. However, it is how your partner handles themselves in these disagreements that matters most. If they are emotionally intelligent and know how to regulate their emotions, they will navigate through conflict with greater understanding and sensitivity.
6. They encourage you to follow your dreams
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If your partner authentically loves you, they will see your success as their success. They will encourage you to follow your goals, whatever they may be, and be your cheerleader the whole way through.
No matter how impossible your goals may seem to you, a loving partner will see the potential in you that you fail to recognize and urge you to make the most of it. For Blanco, he makes this clear when he lifts up Gomez in every endeavor she has. But for normal, everyday couples, this is evident in how emotionally supportive a partner acts.
7. They're someone you can trust
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Trust is one of the most crucial pillars of relationships. It is essential for effective communication, emotional safety, and mutual respect. A partner who truly loves you will allow you the time to trust them, and do everything they can to ensure that they've earned it.
"To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself," clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD revealed.
Trustworthy partners will make sure that their actions align with their words, are honest even when it's difficult, and will consistently respect your boundaries without having to be constantly reminded of them.
8. They encourage you to be vulnerable
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Blanco embraces all of Gomez's emotions, even the ones that depict her vulnerability. And someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated will do the same.
When people are willing to be vulnerable around their partners, it is usually because they have made them feel safe enough to do so. Vulnerability allows you to be your true self without fear of judgment or rejection. This authenticity is crucial for building a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
"If you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, your partner can't be expected to understand what you need and want from them. They will undoubtedly respond in unsatisfactory ways. And then, because you don't feel supported, you can resent them and blame them rather than owning your feelings. And then, before you begin to be vulnerable, you've got a knot to unwind," marriage and family therapist Shari Foos explained.
A genuine partner will encourage you to be vulnerable and express your every emotion, not only to give you the space for an emotional release, but also to get a better understanding of who you are and how they can help you when you're feeling vulnerable.
9. They love you loudly
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Blanco never misses an opportunity to publicly declare how much he loves Gomez. And by loving you loudly, reminding everyone of how they feel, this is one of the most obvious signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right.
The person for you will confidently and openly show their love for you. They will gush about you to their friends, give you a hug in public just because, and shamelessly shout their love from the rooftops.
When your partner loves you loudly, they are demonstrating their unwavering pride in the relationship, and their commitment to make you feel valued. Loving you loudly can strengthen your bond by fostering a sense of security and appreciation, ensuring you feel seen, respected, and cherished.
10. They don't feel the need to 'win' every argument
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In an authentic relationship, your partner will recognize that you are working for each other, not against. Even if you both argue every now and then, you are ultimately on the same team and should not be focused on "winning" every spat you may have. Instead, health couples focus on the root cause of the arguments and discuss ways to work through them.
According to the Gottman Institute, about two-thirds of arguments are perpetual. This means you'll be having the same argument, over and over again, your entire relationship. But neglecting to address the underlying issues will only cause the relationship to suffer, and a truly good partner understands that.
11. They give you space when you need it
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Blanco shared that one of his favorite things Selena Gomez does is tell him when she is feeling irritated. Gomez will request alone time and Blanco honors the request, allowing her the space to deal with her emotions on her own. Even though she usually texts him a few minutes later asking him to come back, Blanco recognizes the importance of giving her space.
By a partner giving you the space you ask for, it's one of the biggest signs you've met your Benny Blanco who is actually going to treat you right. Everyone needs moments to recharge, process their feelings, or reflect on situations without external pressures. By allowing you this space, a partner demonstrates trust, understanding, and support for your individuality.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.